Cleaning Your Throne

So my darlings, I’m back to the online world. Seems my comments were hijacked by evil spammers, which pushed me to jump back in and regain control of my blog! I guess clutter isn’t limited to your house, is it?

To reward my faithful readers, both of you, here’s some helpful tips related to keeping your throne squeaky clean:

**Been practicing your pucker on the mirror? Have little fingerprints that just won’t vanish no matter how hard you scrub? Mysterious spots show up in the weirdest spots that make you think you’ve contracted chicken pox whenever you gaze at your reflection? The answer: shaving cream. Borrow your husband’s foaming shaving cream and smear a thin layer all over the mirror, or on the pesky stain that won’t vanish. Let it set for a couple of minutes (I use the opportunity to shave… Why not, right?), then scrape off the cream with your hands or a squeegee, and wipe off the mirror with a wet rag. Irritating smudges? Gone. Added bonus: some shaving creams actually keep your mirror from fogging up during steamy showers. Sweet!

**Plop, plop, fizz, fizz… Clean the can using Alka-Seltzer, or if your can is especially dark and dank, whitening denture tablets. Plop 2-4 tablets in the toilet (depending on how icky it is), take a shower and let them fizz for 20-30 minutes. Then, give them the toilet a scrub, a swish, and a flush, and you’ve got a toilet as clean as Grandpa’s pearly whites. Got a hopper that doesn’t get much action? Drop one or two tablets in the can each week to fight that ring-round-the potty.

**Stubborn shower soap scum… We all have it. Use a regular scrubbing sponge or a scrub brush and some of your shampoo to wash it away. Fight it from coming back by rubbing in a thin layer of lemon, orange, mineral, or baby oil on the sides of the tub.

**Love after shower sprays but hate the price? Well then take your baby’s soap and put one capful of it in a spraybottle filled with water, maybe a splash of vinegar for good measure. That works just as well as any commercial shower spray. And it requires no batteries.

**Next time you stand over your sink to scrub your smile, squeeze some of that toothpaste on your faucet. While you brush away your dragon breath, use a paper towel or cotton rag, to scrub down the faucet. Rinse your mouth, and rinse your faucet, give the faucet a quick buff with a microfiber cloth or tissue, and admire your gorgeous smile shining back from your clean faucet. Please note: as tempting as it may be, don’t use your husband’s toothbrush to scrub down the faucet. That’s just not nice.

**Not really remembering what color your plastic inner shower curtain because it’s covered by a funky black growth that reminds you of a horror movie? Take down the plastic liner, throw it in the washer with a shot of bleach. Put it through the regular cycle, and if you feel so motivated, maybe run it through the rinse and spin cycle an extra time. You know, just for good measure. Icky mildew and mold is gone, and curtain restored to it’s original beauty. Unless you’re like me and you buy the cheapo brand X liners which may or may not survive the spin cycle more than a 5 or so times before it falls aprt… Then there’s no helping you, go buy a new curtain. HA!

That should be enough to tide you folks over for the time being.