A Stepford Life

Christmas is Over

2012-01-06T15:47:00.004-05:00

So... The holidays are over for another year. Not that this is a newsflash to anybody. Sure, there are occasional wishes of "Happy New Year!" and "Have a good holiday!" that somebody will pop out with... For some, I'm sure that it's a genuine wish that the joy Christmas and the New Year are still fresh, but for many I tend to suspect that it's an unavoidable slip after two months of replacing "have a good day" with "have a good Christmas."

This holiday season was, I think, the best one I've ever had. A trip to Disney World in September set the stage, then after that, life was a whirlwind of candy, over-the-top dinners, presents, costumes, new hobbies, new ideas, a desire for tradition and the creation of lasting memories. It was almost a shame to say goodbye to it all. Though I say this while still sitting in the glow of a Christmas tree, still lit and decorated, so it's something of a lingering goodbye that hasn't taken hold yet. What can I say? I think this year we got the most gorgeous tree I've ever seen and, despite the fact that it's a dried out stick, I'm having a hard time pushing it out the door.

One of the great things about this holiday season was that my son was old enough to absorb what was going on, participate, and (dare I say it?) enjoy it. That alone was a tremendous motivator to try and make the season special. Now, while for him "special" included getting root beer floats on Christmas Eve, whapping people with cardboard wrapping paper tubes, and ripping paper into tiny confetti-like bits that I'm still finding in all sorts of odd places, for me, "special" meant digging for great ideas, indulging in my new hobby of making bentos (more on that later), and making the foolish resolution to try and create a special experience for everybody for more than just 2 months a year.

Insane? Yes. Of course it is. I know how crazy it is. I work full time, I'm starting a part-time job from home, I want to finish my degree... Oh, and my audience includes my son who is 18 months old, and his stepbrothers are 2 1/2 and almost 5. Plus, I have all those fun, grownup things like bills, health problems, too much stress, too little sleep, and an almost total absence of free time. But there was a time where I clearly remember when I spent time planning fun things for everybody to do. I had fun planning, I had fun doing, and it was really relaxing.

Now, I know life takes over, but wouldn't it be nice if this year I could go back to my passion of blogging (yes, that was a passion for me at one point) and having fun by being fun?

A happy boy in a "Cars" chair, watching "Cars." And a tree that's seen better days.

Finding the Strength to Try Again

2011-07-10T01:31:00.003-04:00

Last week I was inspired by my favorite Bible passage:

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Matthew 6:21

This has so much meaning to me and I get so much happiness and strength from reading it and thinking about it. This passage reminds me of the love of my life, how much I adore him and need him in my life. It reminds me of all we've been through and how we've come together and survived it all. I can't think of this passage without thinking of him and how much he's changed my life. Last Sunday, I had so much I wanted to write about everything this passage makes me feel, but I couldn't put it down. Instead I just promised myself that I'd do better in living this principle and displaying it outwardly to those I love.

How did I do? I had my victories, I had my failures. The failures came in that I didn't live this principle like I wanted to every day. Life makes for a great excuse for why we forgot to be the person we strive to be, doesn't it? But the victory comes in that now, sitting back, thinking of my week, I see where I failed and, most importantly, I see why I failed.

I've honestly spent quite a lot of time thinking, writing, praying, and I'm feeling really good. I've already had several realizations about what I can do to help myself out and help out my family, bringing myself closer to living this principle that is so important to me. Over the next week, I'm going to start introducing the changes that I think that will help me to live this passage I love so much.

Talk about being inspired! This is how I want to start my week every week...

Favorite Ingredient Friday ~ Mini Corn Dogs on July 4th

2011-07-08T06:16:00.000-04:00

What a 4th of July week. As usual, I wasn't as prepared as I wanted to be... Who ever is though? The day was oppresively hot, so other than a quick trip to the neighborhood pool, we stayed mostly indoors until about 7pm. Our big plan was, of course, to go to the fireworks since they were going to celebrate both July 4th and our town's 250th anniversary. We figured that the already limited parking would be even more limited, so we got there 2 hours early and spent our time at the playground.

Still in love with wheels

We all had a lot of fun... He found the wheel on the playground and spent most of his time playing with that, but I did actually manage to introduce him to the slide. By the third or so time down, he got the hang of it and was pushing himself down and laughing. Only one very small disaster occured when he fell off a step, but thank goodness the wheel was there to help get him through the trauma.

After moving the party to an abandoned tennis court for a round of beachball volleyball with breaks to blow bubbles, read books, and drive cars around the court, we were off to the town green for a picnic of popcorn (microwave popcorn popped and brought from home) and to hand out glowsticks. Is it sad I knew they'd sell the things there but I knew they'd be cheaper at Dollar Tree so I brought my own? For the price of one set of 3 glow bracelets there, I had 15... Everybody was lit up like Christmas which was not only fun, but made keeping track of everyone VERY easy.

A necklace and one for each foot...

Finally, the fireworks started. Considering his almost crippling fear of thunderstorms and lightning and the fact that the fireworks didn't start until 9:30 (well past his bedtime), we held our breath and prepared for the worst... But he watched the whole thing and was completely captivated. He even called out "oooooh" and "wow" and, always one to copy everybody else, he gave us a series of claps and "yay yay YAYs" at the finale. Thank goodness.

After yelling "wwweeeeeeee!" all the way back to the car and falling asleep on the way home, despite the fact that the ride home was only about 10 minutes, he called it a night at about 10:30 and went happily to bed, glowsticks in hand.
_______

The big culinary hit for lunchtime though had to be the mini-corndogs and mac-and-cheese. They were fun to make and made the house smell like a fair, which I loved. I think he must have had 10 of the things and of course the grownups liked them too.

You could use mini-cocktail dogs to make this, but I just wanted to use what was on-hand so I cut full sized hot dogs into thirds. I also wrapped a few of the hot dogs in a little American cheese for a cheesy corn dog which was quite delish. Along with the mustard, I had little dipping bowls of BBQ sauce, tomato sauce, and salsa for a little variety. And you can wrap the extras and store them in the freezer for up to several months.

Mini Corn Dogs
1-2/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup cornmeal
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons cold butter
1 tablespoon shortening
1 egg
3/4 cup milk
8 hot dogs, cut into thirds

Honey Mustard Sauce:
1/3 cup honey
1/3 cup prepared mustard
1 tablespoon molasses
In a large bowl, combine the first four ingredients. Cut in butter and shortening until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Beat egg and milk; stir into dry ingredients until a soft dough forms.

Turn onto a lightly floured and cornmealed surface; knead 6-8 times or until smooth. Roll out to 1/4-in. thickness. Cut dough into squares of about 2 inches. Fold each dough circle over a hot dog and press edges to seal (dough will be sticky). Place on greased baking sheets.

Bake at 450° for 10-12 minutes or until golden brown. In an small bowl, combine the sauce ingredients. Serve with the corn dogs. Yield: 2 dozen.

Why Does My Bathroom Smell Like Butter?

2011-07-07T03:46:00.010-04:00

The moldy offender... Crocodile Mat from Ikea

I noticed the other day that my son's rubber bath mat has a few spots of mold growing on it. Terribly frustrating since I have no mold remover in the house at the moment and the mat is not to be soaked in bleach. So as I go to the computer to research a solution, I am told by my other half that he had heard just the other day that using simple Pam (as in the non-stick stuff from the kitchen) was a really great way to remove mold.

Now this makes me very happy... It's non-toxic, I have it in the house, and I have my blog update about the wonder of Pam in the bathroom already written in my head. The nagging questions (how is that possible? Doesn't it make the tub slippery?) I quietly ignored, figuring that all would reveal itself as I used it.

Today, I spray the mat from top to bottom with the Pam. My bathroom smells like popcorn, but I figure who cares if it works? I take a wipe with my microfiber cloth and... Still there. So I try again, leaving it on for about 5 minutes. Still nothing. I finish my third application and pop open my phone to see what I can find about Pam as a mold killer.

As it turns out, my other half was half right... I found plenty of websites that talk about how wonderful Pam is at releasing mold. Unfortunately, the mold it's great as releasing are the variety that are to be painted and displayed, not the kind that the kind found on bathroom mats.

Even as we speak, the hot water shower is running in the bathroom to try and make it not like a Slip-N-Slide and I have learned a very important lesson about how just because you love somebody doesn't mean you don't fact check him first.

But for those who are curious who may make models as a hobby, apparently car wax also works wonders as a mold release, though I have not tried it on the bathroom mat to see how it works on that mold. I do not suggest it.

WFMW: Colored Water = Cheap Entertainment

2011-07-06T10:54:00.002-04:00

My son has more toys then any child his age has any right to have. And you'd think with every toy in the world, he would never be bored, never be without a toy, never sit on the floor frustrated over having "nothing to do."

You'd think wrong.

Granted, he's only a year old, so I don't have to hear "But MOOOOOOM, there is NOTHING to do!" yet (and conversely, don't have the satisfaction of saying "If you can't FIND something to do, I will GIVE you something to do..."). But I can tell he feels bored when he's just sitting and making his angry noises despite being in a sea of toys or when I have to go pull him out of something that he knows he shouldn't be getting into for the 15th time.

One day, I got frustrated with it. Knowing he loves water, and knowing that space and mess concerns prevent me from getting a water table, I decided to put something similar together in the hopes he'd be entertained.

I got a handful of Ziplocks, filled them with water, used simple food coloring to dye the water, sealed it (while pushing out as much air as I could), folded the top over several times and taped it with packing tape to the bag so that the zipper section was totally sealed in by tape. Then, again with the packing tape, taped it to the sliding door.

It was an instant hit, not just for my 1 year old, but for all of his older playmates. Splashing without the mess.

Since then, I've had a little fun. I've put glitter in the bags, layered the bags so that the 3 primary colors make the secondary colors, added dish soap to make bubble water that puffs up when played with, even put some food coloring and shaving cream or whipped cream and taped that to the window for "clouds." Adding colored water to empty, used water bottles has brought unexpected fun. The bottles are stacked, rolled, slished, sloshed, put by the window so that the reflection they made by the sunlight can be cast on the floor, on the wall, on the ceiling, on unsuspecting parents...

It's funny to think water, coloring, and tape can make for a fun, rainy day, cheap distraction. But then again, when I was a kid, I was utterly entertained by such simple distractions. Maybe it's time for me to under think his entertainment?

Don't lie, you kind of want to take a swat at it too, don't you?

Don't believe the look, he was having fun.

Adding Some Bounce to Your Life

2011-07-05T04:38:00.000-04:00

Maybe I'm stuck in the 80's, maybe I can't break those housekeeping trends I learned from my mother, or maybe I'm just too lazy to be bothered with adding liquid fabric softener to anything other than a spray bottle, but I love, love, love dryer sheets. I'm almost ashamed to say that my favorite brand isn't even a "real brand." It's the Wal*Mart generic brand which smells like "Mandarin Essence."

Another thing I love about them? Even after they're used, they continue to be handy:

* I use them on my glass/polished electronics surfaces like the TV, computer screen, laptop keyboard, and even the gaming units (Xbox, Wii, etc). They remove fingerprints and dust with a single swipe but also repel dust and static.

* They are awesome for freshening up living areas... I've put them under couch cushions, inside pillows or pillow cases, between the sheet and bed, old shoes, in storage boxes, in my drawers (as in the place you keep folded clothes), tucked in the pocket of a shirt hanging in a closet, or even sandwiched between books on the bookcase. It keeps things smelling fresh and clean, even slight movement (like rolling over in bed or sitting on the couch) releases a little burst of sweet-smelling air.

* Added bonus? They repel ants, mice, moths, and silverfish. Sweet smelling and pest free is a win/win. If you find a hole where mice or bats are getting into your house (did I mention how fun it is living in the country?), stuff a crumpled sheet into the hole and they won't get through. The smell keeps them away and the fabric itself they can't and won't chew through. Bring them outside to ward off mosquitoes.

* Spill some flour? Knock over some baby powder? Dryer sheets are perfect for sweeping up fine powder spills. I accidentally knocked over a whole can of powdered formula and used dryer sheets saved the day.

* Like the look of those dashboard polishing sprays but can't stand the price? Wipe the dashboard and chrome or other detailing in your car with a dryer sheet and remove dust, dirt, fingerprints, and slow down further buildup. Or keep a used sheet under your floor mats, in the glove box, or the center console.

* Tweezers not quite doing the job anymore? Wipe the tweezy part with the dryer sheet. Also use them for cleaning up other gunked up makeup accessories like mirrors or eyelash curlers. Same with scissors that have lost their will to cut.

* I use them in the bathroom to get soap scum off my tub but they can also be used on shower doors and on the faucets for a beautiful shine. I also use around the toilet to remove that weird, wet, grimy dust stuff. You can also find used dryer sheets between my folded towels to keep them smelling dryer fresh.

* As I said in an earlier entry, I use them as a replacement for dry wipe floor Swiffer. It not only gives a light polish, but also helps keep the floor from being sticky, and happen to be waaay cheaper then Swiffer cloths. They're also brilliant for dry dusting wood.

* Sometimes I leave the used sheets in the hamper because laundry at the bottom of the pile can smell pretty bad by laundry day. Especially in my son's room... Stinky little boy. I also put them in trash cans between the trash can and the liner.

If you didn't use them before, I bet you're thinking about it now... Just a word of warning, especially for you fancy folks who have those high-end dryers, make sure you clean out your lint trap and clean it with warm vinegar or soak in boiling water for 30 seconds and wipe at least once a month. It extends the life of your dryer, allows clothes to dry faster, and keeps your laundry room more free of dust.

Happy July 4th!

2011-07-04T08:02:00.004-04:00

Have a safe, happy, and fireworks-filled July 4th to all of my readers!

Today will be a busy day for us as it's both July 4th and the 250th anniversary of the founding of our town.

Make sure you visit Taste of Home's recipe for USO Berry Cake... For every hit the page gets, they donate 10 cents to the USO up to $100,000!

My menu today will be pretty straight forward... Hot dogs, hamburgers, fries and other forms of sweet deliciousness.

The Simple Daybook of a Stepford Wife

2011-07-04T05:26:00.000-04:00

For July 3rd, 2011

Outside my Window

I see that everything is glassy from the light rain falling outside. The emerald color of the trees and the Rhododendrons is so piercing and bright that you could almost picture yourself sitting in a tropical rainforest. My Hostas, normally a quiet and subtle beautiful, are really shining in this weather. The rain and the light through the clouds have turned them a delishious lime green color. The light rain has kept everybody in the neighborhood inside and with Baby Boy asleep, there is this peaceful quiet all through the house. The only thing seemingly unaffected by the weather is the chipmonk who zips by my sliding door doing, looking very busy at doing whatever chipmonks do.

I am Thinking

I'm thinking that quiet moments like this are so few and far between... Usually there is some noise in or around the house. Baby Boy playing, the TV, kids outside playing, phone ringing, knocks at the door... So I'm enjoying the quiet solitude where I feel like I can enjoy the beauty of nature from the comfort of my bed and an open window. I'm doing a lot of thinking about my passage for the week, there's a lot that it brings to my mind. I feel like I should be writing it down, but I'm trying to feel the passage, not think it. An incredible change.

I am Thankful For

Honestly, I'm thankful for the quiet, thankful for a moment to get back to myself. I'm thankful for my family of course, but sometimes I forget to be thankful for those moments where we're not together and I can spend time with myself.

I am Reading

Right now, my library is a parade of magazines, cookbooks, and blogs. Most of my reading material for today will be coupons and sales flyers. Sunday's are busy for me since it's coupon day. First weekend of the month and a holiday weekend also mean P&G coupons (the best of the bunch) are out and properly shopped sales are amazing.

I am Hoping

I am hoping that in moments where I feel rushed and frantic, I will remember how I feel right at this exact second. I hope that the time I can enjoy something similar again isn't too far away. I'm hoping for a really good week.

I am Hearing

The sound of rain hitting the leaves and the gentle rolls of thunder from a storm moving in. I love morning thunderstorms. We only get maybe half a dozen all year so I always feel like a day that starts with a thunderstorm is a magical day. From the other room, I can hear Baby Boy's many music-making gizmos and sound machines to help him sleep. It's ironic that the sound of the fake ocean drowns out the sound of the real rain, though I don't know that he'll notice.

Around the House

I'm ashamed to say that the house is a disaster. Kid's toys everywhere, laundry that needs to be folded, video games in a pile next to the TV. Last night was date night, so instead of cleaning when I had a chance in the evening, we all went out. By the time we got back, I was way too tired to take care of it.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week

A busy week... July 4th is also our area's 250th anniversary so there's a lot to do and see if the weather holds out. Tuesday is a job interview that I'm hoping will compliment my going back to college. Then later in the week, family travels up from the South and is up to stay for a week. Can't wait!

Picture of the Day

A beautiful, rainy morning

A Morning to be Inspired

2011-07-03T09:38:00.003-04:00

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Matthew 6:21

So much to say about this passage and what it means to me, but I struggle to even know where to begin. This passage has gotten me through so much hurt, sadness, lonliness, and pain. This simple phrase became a mantra of mine that I lived off of like spiritual food.

Today, I'm carrying this with me again as a message of devotion to the man I love and I'm allowing this passage to shape my day. My mind is already busy with planning on how I'm going to live this passage today, but I'm trying to put it all aside and allow my heart to do the leading.

Favorite Ingredient Friday ~ Chocolate Covered Strawberry Cookies

2011-07-01T16:52:00.003-04:00

Ok, so I can't take credit for this one. My friend emailed it to me, saying I *HAD* to try it, and she said a friend found it off a blog, reposted from another blog, reposted from another blog. So, never one to sucuumb to peer pressure, I made it too and put it on my blog.

Because I can't leave well enough alone, I did some fiddling about to add something different to them... IE, added chocolate. Because even the best is made better with chocolate.

So here you go, Chocolate Covered Strawberry Cookies
Strawberry Stems ~
1/4 cup water
4 drops green food color
50 or so slivered almonds, blanched

Strawberry Cookies ~
1 cup butter or margarine
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1.5 ounces strawberry flavored Jello
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon strawberry extract (optional)
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 cups all-purpose flour
Red colored sugar
Green colored sugar

Chocolate~
1 cup sifted powdered sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
2 tablespoons hot water
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Add water and green coloring to a bowl, then add almonds. Allow to soak completely, stirring occasionally.

For the cookies, beat butter, sugar, gelatin, vanilla, strawberry extract, and salt in a large bowl until fluffy. Gradually beat in flour on low. Chill for 15-30 minutes to make dough easier to handle. Halfway through chilling process, preheat the oven to 375.

After chilling is finished, drain almonds and dry completely. Form dough into 1-inch diameter balls, tapering one end for the strawberry effect. Roll tapered end of the ball (the "strawberry") in the red sugar, and the wide end (the "leaf") in green sugar, and insert an almond sliver for the stem. Place on ungreased baking sheets and bake 11-12 minutes, only until set and very lightly browned. Cool on wire racks

Meanwhile, combine powdered sugar, cocoa, water, and extract. Stir until the consistency of melted chocolate. Dip cooled strawberries into the chocolate mixture, or using a fork, drip ribbons of chocolate over the cookie for a streaked effect.

Makes 30-40
Now, in my cookies, I added a little red dye to the cookies. Why? Because I'm apparently not a very good direction-follower and that's what I thought the recipe had us do. My bad. But not a huge disaster. Just a little redder than normal cookies.

The Simple Daybook of a Stepford Wife

2010-01-04T18:18:00.008-05:00

For January 4, 2010

Outside my Window

It's another snowy day... It's actually not even normal snow, it's that big fluffy kind that you see in the movies that lazily drifts down through the air and sticks to everything. There are people everywhere outside, almost like it's not a normal working day. Maybe school was called off? I can't imagine it was because although it's snowy and cold, it's not anywhere near bad enough to call off school. The roads cut through the white landscape like black rivers and are perfectly clear.

I am Thinking

I'm thinking about all of the things I want to do for the New Year... This year I'm dramatically short on resolutions for the first time in my life. Having lost almost 70 pounds since I last posted, my usual promise to lose weight and exercise is rather pointless. Every other resolution I can think of for some reason sounds superficial or vauge, or not special enough to actually turn into a promise of things to do for the year. I'm not sure if this is a sign that for the first time in my life I'm happy and content with the things I can control or if it's a sign that there are many aspects outside of my control right now, so making a resolution about them is meaningless.

I am Thankful For

I'm thankful for the people in my life who truly and honestly love me... Which is something I never really truly appreciated until recently. Really, genuine and honest and true love is something I never honestly realized the beauty of until this last year and I'm really happy to experience it when I can. On a random and superficial note, I'm also eternally thankful for my Kuerig coffee maker. Who ever invented it is a genius.

I am Wearing

An old white fitted tank top and my stretchy black pants which are a little too stretchy and tend to slide down so that I trip on the cuffs when I walk. And don't ask me why, but I'm also wearing my mismatched Halloween socks. Chalk it up to laziness, but I'm not afraid to admit it.

I am Reading

I've just finished reading "Men are Stupid, Women are Crazy..." required reading from the Amazon Vine program that I'm a part of. Holy cow was that a bad book... Now I'm reading "Ruined" by Paula Morris, which was a Christmas present from my Aunt. It appears to be a ghost story aimed at young adults set in New Orleans about 3 years after Katrina. I haven't really gotten far enough into it to decide if I like it or not, but I've got high hopes. The author's ability to paint a picture of the city of New Orleans, not just the magic of the buildings and the people and the city and the beauty and the history, but the darker aspects such as the neighborhoods torn apart by Katrina and areas plauged with crime and poverty, are absolutely mesmerising. I was told to read the book not so much for the story itself, but to feel the magic of New Orleans as a historic and facinating US city and I think in that aspect I will love it.

I am Hoping

I could write a blog post entirely devoted to this topic... I don't know, maybe it's because of the new year or because of life in general, but I've got a list of hopes as long as my arm. I guess I can sum it all up in that I hope more than anything that I will continue to feel the blessings of God through the good times and the bad and that through the coming year I can continue to grow in the ways I need to be successful in life and to have the strength to withstand its trials and uncertanties.

I am Hearing

The ticking of my seashell clock which at times is almost louder than the movie I have on... "500 Days of Summer." Occasionally the sound of a car slowly driving by and the splash of the wet roads unaderneath the tires. And, of course, the periodic ring of my cell phone letting me know I've gotten yet another text message.

Around the House

The place is a mess... There's a dirt pile in the kitchen that I started sweeping up but never finished, a sink of dishes, counters that need wiping. The living room desperately needs attention and the only thing more daunting than the 5 loads of laundry I still need to wash is the 5 loads of laundry I have to fold.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week

Two doctors appointments, one Tuesday and one Friday, and some lofty goals related to cleaning the house. Other than that, my big goal is to sleep, eat, and try to survive the week.

Picture of the Day

I miss my Christmas tree.

Exercising Hospitality by Telling People to Go Away

2008-08-27T06:30:00.001-04:00

One of the blessings of living in a small cluster of homes in the country is that we have relative peace and quiet. Our evenings are filled with the sounds of birds, wind in the trees, children playing in their yards, and a general calm and beauty that I think many neighborhoods would envy. One of the things I love about our tiny little neighborhood is that we enjoy our little neck of the woods, and we all take a great deal of pride in being warm and inviting, hospitable, and just generally nice to those around us.

However, one of the curses of living not too far from a town in a cluster of houses is that we attract solicitors... And lots of them. Starting in the spring, we had an average of 3-6 solicitors a week. I answered the doorbell more than I answered the phone!

Now, I strive to make my little plot of land beautiful, welcoming, and pleasant, and I want to show a measure of good hospitality to those who come to see us. So I was very conflicted in how to protect my home and my privacy, while still showing a measure of grace and hospitality. On one hand, I felt that it was my duty to welcome those who came to my door, no matter what cause they're coming to support, but on the other hand I just wanted to rip out my doorbell and throw it across the yard.

There are, of course, the signs that say "no trespassing" and "no solicitation," but is that the message I wanted all of the people to see when they walked to my door? Everybody from the guy selling dictionaries to my mother would see that was the first impression of welcome people got from my house. That didn't please me in the slightest. Even worse, it would discourage solicitors I actually wanted, like local school children, youth organizations, and those wonderful little gals who bring me my stash of Girl Scout Cookies and 4-H candy bars.

A sign that discourages cookies and chocolate? That's not happening.

There had to be a sign out there that was both welcoming and pleasant, that very clearly expressed that we didn't want to have our doorbell pushed by every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a pamphlet. But how is such an attitude an exercise in hospitality? I had a lot of thinking to do...

Hospitality means, to me, to be welcoming, warm, and gracious to all of those who come to my door, and to be a generous host to those I invite in to the home. I want my home to be a place of relaxation and comfort for everybody who comes across the threshold. But wait a minute... Is my home a place of relaxation and comfort to me and my husband if we're being disrupted by solicitors, some of whom are less-than-friendly, or who can be very pushy? I found a lot of times we'd answer the door and politely say "no thanks," only to have the salesperson get frustrated, or become overly insistent to the point of hostile. That left Mr. Stepford and me irritated, which is totally against what I want our home to be. Not to mention, it made us dread answering the door, because we could never tell who it was or how they'd behave... And isn't that dread and worry about who's at the door totally the opposite of the environment I was trying to cultivate?

The other thing that I considered was, with the parade of people I saw who came to my door trying to sell things, I only bought items from the local children, or from local youth groups, or from people I knew or trusted. In this age of credit card fraud, identity theft, and stalkers, I just don't want to hand money and personal information or credit card numbers to random strangers who appear at my door. Yet, each person who came would enter into their speech about what they were selling and why I should buy it, all the while I knew I probably wouldn't. So for every moment they spoke, I was wasting their time. Time that could be better spent on the doorstep of a house where they could be making money. Is that hospitable treatment of those to come to my door when I take their time and effort in the knowledge that I wasn't going to do anything with it? Is it gracious?

The biggest issue was that of safety. I'm home alone, a lot. I have no way of verifying that the person at my door is really who they say they are. If somebody who came to my door were to push his or her way in, I'd be in trouble. Did you know most burglaries and home invasions occur during the time of 10am to 3pm, while people are at work? Many people with less than honest intentions use the door-to-door salesperson routine as a means to profile a house and its occupants. I think we can all agree, a lack of safety in one's own house is a total opposite to the goal of hospitality.

I came to the conclusion that sometimes gracious hospitality includes the fine art of discouraging people from intruding on your home time and space, prevent wasting their time and energy, and doing so in a manner that's not accusatory, insulting, in-your-face, or combative, or without leaving a negative first impression on welcomed guests.

I ended typing and printing the following, dressing it up a bit, and laminating it as a sign on my front door:

"We welcome family, neighbors, friends, stray animals, lost kids, wildlife, mail carriers, and neighborhood children fundraising for school events, sports teams, and youth organizations. Be warned, we have a soft spot for cookies, candy, popcorn, handmade jewelry, and candles, and we can always use more wrapping paper.

We also enjoy our private time and a peaceful home. So please no adult salespersons or religious solicitation.

If you would like to leave information on the porch, please do so without knocking or otherwise disturbing our household.

Thank you!"

It took me awhile to word it, and I found lots of suggestions online, but I finally pieced together something that not only clearly encouraged local children, clearly discouraged everybody else, but did so in a way that was polite and friendly, and even still gave them an opportunity to leave literature so I could look it over if I so chose.

The sign has worked brilliantly. We've had no solicitors since we put it up. Sometimes our porch looks like Kinko's exploded on it with all the handouts on it, but that's OK. :D

I didn't realize how effective the sign was until a few days ago, when a new neighbor came calling to get to know the neighborhood. She came to the door and read the sign, and one of the first things she told me when she came and sat down with me was that it was worded in such a way that made her feel welcome, removed the uneasiness of "gosh, do these people really want to meet the new neighbor or not?" that she felt before going around to visit, and it made her feel like if I was so openly diligent about protecting my family's time and interests and my home atmosphere, that by being my guest, she would feel comfortable in assuming she'd get the same treatment, and would enjoy a comfortable and welcoming atmosphere.

Ah, the benefits of a well-worded sign... :)

For more WFMW tips, head to Rocks in my Dryer for a huge list of them. I've found some of the most amazing stuff there...

Do I Look a Year Older?

2008-08-26T04:00:00.000-04:00

Well, ladies and gentlemen, do I? Yesterday was my birthday, and I can no longer call myself a woman of my mid-20s, but now a woman of my mid-to-late 20's. Oh, how the time flies by... Makes me wonder what I've done with myself!

I have to say, I love my birthday. I love all birthdays, really. When I was growing up, we made birthdays a big deal around our house. My mother had (what do I mean had... She still has it and still puts it up on our birthdays!) this banner that said "Happy Birthday!" It was blue and kind of orchid purple, and it was very 1960's style... But every year, I remember coming down the stairs and seeing that banner stretched across the ceiling by the dining room, over our presents. Even now when I see it, I have that giddy, childish excitement that I had when I was little.

I'm a big fan of holiday/birthday/special event traditions... I'd love to hear from you guys... What are some of your favorite birthday traditions? Something that makes those special days really something to remember?

Favorite Ingredient Friday ~ Blue Glo-tini

2008-08-22T06:00:00.000-04:00

I'll admit it, here for everybody to see. My name is Mrs. Stepford, and I like to clone recipes.

It's not that I'm cheap, it's that I love to travel and eat and drink new and exciting things. I can't help it. It seems a large number of the memories I create seem to start over a plate of really great food. And while I'd like to drive to Maine whenever I crave a Lobster Pie and spend $36 for a single serving of it at a luxury hotel, or fly to Tortola whenever I want a Pimms Cup, or skip over to Disney World when I'm craving shrimp and sundried tomatoes in a wine cream sauce over linguini, it's just not realistic. The best a person like me of limited financial means can do is hope to re-create the experience with a knock-off that not only hits the spot in my stomach, but jogs the memory about vacations past.

For those who may not know or remember, Mr. Stepford and I took a trip to Disney waaay back in November, where we met up with my sister, her husband, and two kiddos. Needless to say, we had a blast, and also just as needless to say, the trip was over too soon, and it wasn't long before both Mr. Stepford and I were dealing with a full-blown case of what I call the Disney Depression... Depression that comes from being so spoiled by the Disney experience that you long to go back and do it all again. Of course, adult priorities and a shockingly empty wallet is something of a stumbling block to going back to Disney on a whim. The only cure was, of course, to spend hours watching home movies, looking through the pictures we took, re-reading the numerous books and maps we took home for scrapbooking, and trying to recreate the fabulous meals we had while we were there.

The first thing I sought to recreate? Well, in true Stepford Wife fashion, it was this marvolous drink my sister and I had while we were down there, called "The Blue Glo-tini." I loved them, and I had more than a couple that week, and just the sight of those light up novelty ice cubes that came in the drink made me want to have a couple more. I scoured the Internet to see if I could find the at-home version of the drink. Thank goodness Disney is happy to share their recipes with people who call up and request them… ;)

Blue Glo-tini

1.5 oz Citrus Vodka (I’m cheap, I use Smirnoff)
.5 oz Peach Schnapps (Again, the cheap stuff, Jenkins)
.5 oz Blue Curacao (I go all out on that stuff and use Bols)
1.5 oz Pineapple Juice
1 oz Sour/Margarita Mix (Ok, I’ll admit it… I use TGIFriday’s Sour Mix)

Combine all in a martini shaker, shake, then strain into a sugar-rimmed
martini glass. Finish by floating a glowing “ice cube” in the glass.

It goes without saying that only those of legal Mickey-ear age should drink. And don’t worry, if you don’t have a blue glowing “ice cube,” it will still be very tasty. Though just less glowy. Maybe a "Blue-tini?"

So, perhaps a somewhat unusual "Favorite Ingriedient Friday" share, but there you go. A recipe that glows and has a story. :)

Blooming on a Rainy Day

2008-08-21T06:00:00.000-04:00

These pretty blooms belong to the pride and joy in my garden... My Bella Daylilies. When I bought them a few years back, they were Bela Lugosi Daylilies, but over the years cross-pollination and less-than-ideal soil conditions changed their coloration away from the typical Bela Lugosi Daylilies (which have dark purple petals with a milky lime-green throat), to the colors they are now. So now, I just call them my Bellas... But they're still my absolute favorite ladies in the garden.

They're amazing flowers... Each plant produces half a dozen to a dozen blooms, and my clump has about 8 plants in it. When those blooms open, their scent is so strong that if I were to leave the window open, their fragrance would drift through the whole house. They're so exotic and eye-catching, that I get compliments about them every year. I've been asked to divide my clump and swap some of my girls for other Daylilies... A tempting proposition since I love Daylilies, but I just can't part with my girls.

The thing about my Bellas... Each flower blooms only once. In the morning, the flower will open and reveal the amazing scent and colors that brighten the whole front yard, and by the next morning, the sweet bloom's petals will lose color and turn almost clear, then drop to the ground. The whole blooming season for my Bellas is only a couple of weeks in late July-early August, so the show that my girls put on is relatively short lived, especially for Daylilies. Then, the grassy foliage turns an emerald green before going down for the winter. The first plants to succumb to frost, the last ones to wake up in the spring. It's a rather short life for my girls each year.

I used to think that it was such a shame when my Bellas would decide to bloom on a cloudy, rainy day. Those stunning flowers seem wasted when the sun doesn't highlight them and when the wind is so wet it doesn't carry their scent around the yard. Their short life in bloom totally wasted on a dark, damp, cool day, where their beauty can't truly be appreciated. Since this summer has been incredibly dark, dreary, and rainy, there have been quite a few days where they have opened their sweet faces and not seen a ray of sun.

Then yesterday, as I was walking back from the garage after saying goodbye to Mr. Stepford, I saw two of my girls in full bloom. Even though it was drizzling and damp, there they were, wide open and glowing with color. They were bright, vibrant, and alive. If there was ever anything or anybody who made the most out of such a short period of life, it was those girls right there. It occured to me, maybe they were blooming on a rainy day, but you'd never know to look at their smiling faces. It didn't even matter that it was raining, or that it seemed the elements around them were all trying to mute their showy display. In fact, it seems like those two ladies took the elements and turned them to their favor. The dampness of the weather really brought out their color, like water does to an opal and their scent mixed with that earthy smell of wet grass and trees, and that freshness that comes after a cleansing rain.

It dawned on me, even though the weather was bad, my girls were just as beautiful as if it was sunny, and that they were more than able to adapt to the conditions around them to further highlight their unique style. It was just that I was unable to see them making the most of their situation, and blooming in spite of adversity.

Sometimes we forget that beauty can exist even when our environment isn't perfect, and that sometimes true beauty is brought out by the ability to turn what's around us (which may seem kind of blah or bleak) into something amazing.

Just a thought. :)

The Ocean in a Bottle

2008-08-20T06:00:00.002-04:00

Call it a hazard of trying to get pregnant, but lately I've been collecting all sorts of fun little crafty things to do with munchkins for my ever expanding "Mommy Idea" book. A few of my ideas actually come from my stint as a co-teacher at a preschool back before Mr. Stepford and I got married.

The "Ocean in a Bottle" craft was one we did for summer camp, which I thought was really, really cool. It's cheap, it's quick, it's only minimally messy, and bugs of all ages can do it. Not only is it fun to put together, fun to look at, but it's cheap and disposable... Which means that when they get tired of it in a week, you can empty it out and throw it away without regret. Added bonus is you can even sneak a little science in with the crafting.

Come on, how great is that?

Making an ocean bottle is actually so simple, you'll cry. The kids can even do most of it with only supervision. All you need is:

A clear plastic soda bottle, with lid (any size will do, but I think the two-liter bottles are best)

Mineral oil (found in the personal care section of your local box store)

Water (found in the faucet of your local kitchen)

Blue food coloring

Shells, dollar store sea critters, sea glass, or other sea-related doo-dads that can fit in the bottle

Craft glue

Optional:

A funnel, to minimize messiness

A little glitter (or ocean critter shaped confetti)... half a teaspoon to a teaspoon or so, to maximize sparkliness
Hot glue, to prevent embarrassing leaks

Construction Process:

1. If you haven't already, but we all know you have, wash your bottle and take off all identifying labels. Then, fill the bottle slightly over halfway with regular old tap water (this is where that funnel may come in handy).

2. Add a few drops of food coloring, until the water is that desired shade of oceany-blue (if you make it too dark, you might not sea your critters.. Get it? Sea? I kill me). Screw on the cap and shake (not stir), to incorporate the food coloring while simultaneously using some of that extra energy you know your kiddos have.

3. Add the sea critters, shells, and do-dads to your bottle. If you have glitter, now's the time to throw it in.

4. Now, fill the bottle to just about the top with the vegetable oil (bet you're wishing you had that funnel now, huh?).

5. Wipe down the cap and rim of the bottle, so that they're totally dry and oil-free. Put on some of that crafting glue around the threads of the screw top on the bottle, trying not to get any actually in the bottle. Screw the cap on tight.

6. If you've got your glue gun armed and ready, use extra glue around the edge of the cap for more protection against leaks and spills.

Voila! Instant ocean in a bottle. To use, simply turn the bottle on its side and rock it back and forth to create gentle waves. Or strong waves, what ever your child prefers. Talk about how the ocean affects the animals in it, talk about how waves work, heck, even share why the oil and water don't mix.

Some tips for extra fun in the ocean:

Mixing ocean critters and doo-dads that float with ocean critters and doo-dads that sink is actually kind of neat. Test to see which ones float and which ones don't by dropping them in bowl of water.

Like it or not, wetness will occur, both from spilled oil and spilled water. To minimize messiness, and slippery spots on your kitchen floor that don't seem to ever go away, do the craft outside... Or somewhere that you don't mind watching people fall down a lot. You know, whichever.

There's no law saying the ocean must be blue. And there's no law saying it has to be an ocean. Mix things up by dying the water different colors. Experiment with the food coloring, see what you can create. Use different oils, like vegetable, canola, maybe even olive oil, for different color combinations.

Substitute the sea critters for other things... Confetti, beads, glitter, small gemstones, whatever. Use it as a way to demonstrate things like viscosity and density. Make it a magic bottle instead of an ocean bottle, or a color bottle, or whatever. One lady called hers a "princess bottle" and had a bunch of girls make it as a favor for her daughter's birthday party, adding dollar store finds and other girly things to it, and she used some of that neon food dye for the water. Imagine red water, yellow vegetable oil, and bugs for a boy's party... EWWW!

When the bottle has outlived it's novelty, and trust me, it's going to happen, cut open the bottle, dump out the water, and keep the doo-dads for next time.

Have fun, happy splashing, and enjoy your "Works for Me Wednesday!"

Ask Mrs. Stepford

2008-08-19T06:04:00.001-04:00

So, I was going through my email today, and imagine my surprise when I found a couple emails from readers of my blog! I asked their permission to share their questions on the blog, in case others may have similar questions.

Q: What is your favorite house cleaning tip? One that even I can do because I'm no good at keeping house.

My favorite, by far, is my recipe for make-it-yourself Febreze. I hate the smell of regular Febreze, and even with CVS sales, it's just too darn expensive for my taste. With the make-it-yourself stuff, you can pick a scent that you like, use what concentration you like, and use as much or as little of it as you want. And because you use fabric softener, whenever and whatever you spray it on has a fresh from the wash smell. I like spraying it on the bed before I make it for the day.

Q: I liked your dinner ideas for your husband's birthday, especially the part about the candles. One question I have... My candles turn kind of yellow after a little while. I end up throwing them away and getting new ones. Is it because I buy dollar store candles? Can you think of anything to do with yellowed candles?

Pretty much every candle I buy, except for the Yankee Candles, turn kind of a yellow over time. Instead of throwing them away, wipe them down with some ammonia. In white candles, that will bring back their original white color. In some colored candles, it will lighten their overall color, but remove their yellow coloring. In the super cheap candles, it may strip them of their color all together, leaving them white, or a very pale version of their original color. Painted tapers? Depending on their quality, it could bring out a shine, or strip their paint.

If you want to see what happens, test it on a small part of your candle first.

Q: What's the dumbest household trick you heard from somebody else that you can't believe you didn't think of first?

To keep a spare watering can in the bathroom so you can easily rinse the tub and shower walls when your shower head isn't detachable. When I heard that, I hand a "oh DUH!" moment. That was way easier than my previous method, which was basically me trying to aim the shower head at the shower walls and trying to rinse it off.

Q: Lots of bloggers are talking about that CNN article where they call being a stay-at-home-wife a luxury and status symbol. What do you think? Do you work?

I work part-time, outside of the home. Before that, however, I was a SAHW for a couple of years. I earned very little income, and contributed to the household in other, non-bread winner ways. I decided to go back to work part-time to earn a little money for our savings, pay down some debt, and take some of the stress of being the sole income of the house off of Mr. Stepford. This has worked very well for us.

What do I think about the article? Really, I think that families will make the choice that is best for their family based off of the knowledge they have, the needs of their family, the capabilities and interests of those involved, and their specific situation. Because I believe that most families will make the choice that is in the best interests of their family and that most are trying to act in their families best interests, I don't see it as my place to make judgments here or there about anybody's particular situation.

If you want to have a spouse stay home, or if you want both spouses to work and you believe its what's best for your family, then I applaud you for your decision, and it's not my business to make judgments on it or second guess your choice. I do not think that families that have a stay-at-home spouse are inherently better than a family with both spouses working, or vice versa. I think the best family is the family that does what is needed to be happy, healthy, balanced, and personally successful.

Q: Do you fight the frump? Like wear make-up, jewelry, things like that?

I do, pretty much every day. I wear concealer, foundation, powdered bronzer, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, and lipstick. I *LOVE* when makeup lines have ECB offers at CVS, because it gives me a chance to try brands, shades, and tools I wouldn't otherwise buy. Like right now, I'm wearing black nail polish with ruby red sparkles that I got for free with my ECBs on Sunday. It looks pretty hot, if you ask me! :)

I also always have at least one necklace on, and a pair of earrings. I wear 5 rings over my two hands, and yes, I do have a navel piercing. :)

If that counts as frump fighting or not, I guess remains to be seen. I've seen some of the tips floating around, some good, some not, some I think kind of contrary to the mission of frump fighting. In the end, again, I think that the best thing to do is dress to flatter your body type, wear cosmetics that match your hair color, eye color, and complexion, and to remain open to exploring your style.

I try to find one thing a week to do that's different or outside of my norm... Either buy with ECB's a color or product I'd not used and hadn't previously considered, wearing my hair differently, trying a new polish color... Something. I think that goes a long way to fighting frump, since there is no set "this universally looks good on all, and this universally does not" formula for us girls to follow.

If anybody else out there has questions, feel free to leave a comment or two, or to drop me an email. I'll be happy to give some of your conundrums a go!

The Simple Daybook of a Stepford Wife

2008-08-18T06:00:00.000-04:00

For August 17th, 2008

Outside my Window
It's night time, about 9:30. The air is balmy and stagnant, with only a very occasional breeze to tussle the heavy air. The crickets outside are madly humming, and their song is occasionally punctuated by the banjo-like twang of a pair of frogs in our pond. The night is dark, the full moon conspicuously absent, leaving behind an inky darkness that is almost unsettling. The only beacon of light comes from my living room window, which spills across our yard, and by the occasional twittering light of a firefly.

I am Thinking
I'm trying to figure out what's going on with my body. I feel unwell, but not sick. I'm exhausted, but not tired. I think the anticipation of having the week off with Mr. Stepford, paired with an anxious curiosity about where I am in my cycle is making for an uneasy stomach and an uneasy mind.

I am Thankful For
My upcoming vacation, and that I'm able to have it off with my husband. Today, I'm also particularly thankful for the friendships I have, and those who love me. I sometimes feel that I take those I love outside of my marital unit for granted, and do not do near enough to show them how much they truly mean to me.

From the Kitchen
The smell of tonight's dinner still lingers in the air... Steak and Italian bread, grilled just outside of our kitchen window. The smell is hard to describe, only to say that if one were to bottle the smell of summer cuisine, this would be it.

I am Wearing
I'm settling in for the night, so I'm wearing grey exercise pants with a white and black stripe down the side, and my blue and green "Rainforest Cafe" shirt.

I am Reading
Right now, I'm reading nothing besides the news and blogs on the Internet.

I am Hoping
I'm hoping and praying that after yesterday's positive ovulation test, my body is back into the swing of things, and that we'll be able to have higher hopes about our chances of finally having a baby.

I am Hearing
The sound of a box fan purring in the window, and the sounds of the crickets and frogs outside the window. When I started the entry, aside from the crickets and the frogs, the air was still and quiet, but now the wind is picking up and I think I hear the low, distant growl of thunder from an approaching storm.

Around the House
The dog, alerted to the possibility of an impending storm, has posted himself by our open window, scanning the darkness for the first cracks of lightning. Mr. Stepford is on the floor, trying to coax our dog back into playing with him. But that our dog's preoccupation with alerting us to the weather has completely removed his desire for fun and games, and his mind is turned to the more serious issue at hand. An issue so serious that our dog seems to have forgotten that he's got a towel tied around his neck like a cape... Something Mr. Stepford did for reasons unknown. The seriousness of our dog trying to protect his pack and staring intently out into the darkness for the first sign of danger, paired with the absurdity of a dog wearing a towel cape makes for an interesting contrast.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week
I plan on doing nothing. Hopefully at some point we'll go camping, and hopefully I will catch up with friends and play some Wii online with them. Other than that, my week is blessedly free of plans...

Picture of the Day

Rain-covered Hostas in full bloom in the foreground, and our small little pond, with goldfish, in the background.

To read what others are saying in their daybooks, visit ~The Simple Woman~ and her Daybook series, posted every Monday. :)

Favorite Ingredient Friday ~ Bacon-Tomato Grilled Cheese Sammies

2008-08-15T06:00:00.000-04:00

I ususally participate in "Favorite Ingredient Friday," but having been gone for so long, I'm not really sure if it's still running. If it is, awesome, if not, I'll still use Friday as a day to indroduce something from my Stepford Cookbook.

This week, I'm submitting a recipe for.. A sandwich.

I have to admit… I'm not a big sandwich person. And if I were, I wouldn't get a recipe for one. A sandwich is a sandwich, right? Who needs instructions on how to make one? But one day I had such a hankering for a grilled cheese sandwich (aka "sammies"), and I happened to stumble across this recipe, and I had to make it. It was so tasty!

Of course, I tweaked the recipe a bit, customizing it to Mr. Stepford and myself by replacing one of the mozzarella cheese slices for American cheese, and replacing 4 slices of cheddar cheese for 1 slice of American. That made this recipe the perfect sammies!

I'll give you both versions below:

Mrs. Stepford's Version

4 slices sourdough bread
4 slices American cheese
4 slices tomatoes
8 strips cooked bacon
Sour cream
2 tablespoons finely chopped onions
1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
Butter
Spread butter on one side of each slice of bread. On the non-buttered
side, top one slice of bread with one slice of American cheese, 2 tomato slices,
4 bacon strips, and another slice of American cheese. On the non-buttered
side of another slice of bread, and spread a layer of sour cream on the
bread. Sprinkle with dried oregano and onion. Mash the two sides
together to form a sammies! Place sandwich on a hot griddle, outside grill, or pan over medium heat and grill 3-4 minutes on each side or until lightly toasted.

Yield: 2 sammies!
~~~~

Original Recipe
8 slices sourdough bread
4 slices mozzarella cheese
2 large thinly sliced tomatoes
8 strips fully cooked bacon
4 tablespoons sour cream
4 tablespoons finely chopped onions
1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
4 slices Cheddar cheese
2 tablespoons softened butter

For each sandwich, top one slice of bread with one slice of mozzarella
cheese, a fourth of the tomato slices, two bacon strips, 1 tablespoon sour
cream, one tablespoon onion, a pinch of oregano, one slice of cheddar cheese,
and another slice of bread. Grill as above.

The Care and Feeding of Wicker

2008-08-13T08:33:00.007-04:00

This is one of my favorite rooms in my house... We call it the "Tortola Room" after the island in the British Virgin Islands, where we were whisked away to after our wedding. It's actually modeled after the apartment where we stayed during for our week-long honeymoon.

Amazingly, the chair on the left is the first piece of furniture I'd ever gotten... It was a birthday gift from mother when I turned 16, which means that wicker chair is more than 10 years old. 10 year old wicker furniture that looks like new, without having been repainted, retouched, or replaced? It's true!

The care and feeding of wicker is fairly simple.

Usually, regular vacuuming with a brush attachment is all that well-fed wicker furniture needs. If you want, you can use canned air or, my personal favorite, a hair dryer set to cool (which is very important as if you used hot air, you will probably crack the wicker) to dust it between vacuuming.

For stubborn dirt, use a stiff paintbrush that's ever-so-slightly dampened (you should feel it's damp, but it's not dripping) with a mixture of salt, a tiny splash of lemon juice, and warm water to clean the dusty or dirty parts of your wicker pieces. Salt water and lemon is actually something of a preservative, and it prevents your wicker from getting yellowed over time. Water is not wicker's friend, so it's better to go with a brush that's too dry than too wet.

Wicker that's a little dry, and a little without luster? Take that same stiff brush and a little lemon oil (not to be confused with Pledge or the like...), and "paint" it on the spots that need some loving. Again, better to have too little than too much on this technique.

Wicker loves humid, but hates cold. Putting my wicker in the sun room during our hot humid summers makes it super happy... But leaving it out during our cold New England winters (even though it's totally indoors and enclosed) makes it not so happy. That's why I bring mine inside every year.

A little care goes a long way, so if you just stay on top of it, you'll not only have a piece that lasts you years, but saves you the hassle of trying to restore it or replace it.

Seconds on the Slop, Please

2008-08-12T09:02:00.000-04:00

It's another beautiful day in the Stepford home... The dog is neatly groomed and sleeping on his perfectly arraigned pillow in the living room (Ok... The dog shed everywhere and is standing on the couch barking at a Cardinal outside), the house is meticulously cleaned (by which I mean I did some vacuuming, did my morning routine, goofed around a bit, then spent an hour... Ok, 4 hours... on the computer), I'm dressed in a modest outfit (tee-shirt and jeans, but I think it's the Crocs that finish off the outfit quite nicely, though the hobo hair makes a statement all on its own), and the air is thick with the smell of home cooking (no, really, it is... Would I exaggerate?).

Mr. Stepford breezes through the door and sets his work gear down, gets changed into his civis (aka... "Normal people clothes"), and sits down to a freshly wiped dining room table, featuring lit candles and a wonderful summer scape centerpiece that can only truly be appreciated by another woman.

With fork in one hand and knife in the other, I come from the kitchen to the dining room table, carrying dinner. Eyes lit up with eager anticipation, Mr. Stepford waits for dinner to hit the table. What succulent dish could it be, he ponders... Chicken in lemon cream sauce? Or maybe pork pot pie... Though it does have the smell of freshly cooked beef... Ah, a pot roast perhaps, cola pot roast with that sweet and salty cream sauce... With a smile, I set down the steaming plate of delicious goodness. His eyes fall to the plate, reeling with the visual feast before him. He takes in the sight of the meal in front of him and exclaims:

"What the heck is this?" (Or words similar in effect)

It's a... Something... Not a stew because it's not got enough stuff in it, not a soup because it's too thick. It's a funny shade of brown, with no discernible shapes in it... Though that might be a bit of corn... Or was it a noodle? Who knows. The texture is reminiscent of very lumpy gravy, and there is chunks of mystery meat floating about in it. The fleeting hope of "this is April Fools, and my real meal is still over there" crosses his mind...

"Try it, you'll like it," I say soothingly, while eating a spoonful of mystery meal and, much to Mr. Stepford's surprise, managing to keep it down.

A cautious spoon dips in and scoops out a bit of the mystery meal, mouth uneager for the taste that this... Stuff... Brings with it. But in it goes. A swish of the tongue, a little chew, and a swallow later, the stuff... It's... It's... Surprisingly delishious. Each spoonful is eaten a little more eagerly than the last, until the first serving is gone.

"So... Is there anymore left? You kept the recipe, right? Because this stuff is good... I mean REALLY good..."

This, Ladies and Gentlemen of Stepford, is the bounty of the mystery meal. A meal known by many names across the world... "Slop," "Grool," "Dookie on a Shingle" (or words to that effect), the "just try it, you'll like it" of the home cook's recipe box. A meal folks at "Taste of Home" and Food Network never show their viewers. Why? Because, as good as it tastes, as delectable every bite is, it looks absolutely horrible.

I'm guessing I wasn't the only one raised in a time before food was dressed up and made sexy. My childhood was a parade of "try it, you'll like it, trust me" meals. A time where it was only one or two ingredients that separated "sausage stew" from "spaghetti sauce" from "chili." Where presentation was slapping it on a plate, maybe answering the "you've got to be kidding me, right? You're not going to make me eat that" looks of the folks around the table with an equally convincing "no, I'm not, and yes, you are" look. And I'll admit it here for everybody to read... I've got more than one dish that's so scrumptious, so cravably delicious, so taste-bud blowingly awesome, that you almost forget that it looks absolutely nasty.

I'd like to think that I'm woman enough to show you a picture of these meals, that I can overcome the modern stigma of making a meal that isn't visually appetizing, even if it is amazingly yummy... But you know what, I'm not. I'm really not. My beef stew and dumplings is literally so delish, we eat most of it in one night. It's the ultimate comfort food. And the pork in chili salsa cream sauce... Holy cow. It's one of the best meals I make. It should be enough to overcome the fact that the stew looks like mud and the pork looks like... I won't even tell you. There's no nice way to describe what salsa, chili, and cream cheese looks like over pork, there really isn't. And don't lie... You may love to eat it, you may have a gallon of it frozen in your freezer right now, but there is no way in the world you can dress up split pea soup so that it looks appetizing. There just isn't.

But come on, admit it... I'm not the only one out there, am I? I think the "delicious slop" meal is the demon in the closet of every resident in Stepford... Try as you like, there's that one dish that looks like a trainwreck on a plate that you just can't stop serving.

Warning: The above picture is not a "slop" meal as it is both attractive and appetizing.

The picture has been changed so as to protect the innocent, prevent self-incrimination of the guilty,

and preserve the stomachs of the readers.

A note from Stepford ~ I realize I used like 10 words that aren't real words in this entry, but somehow, I'm OK with it. I hope you are too. ;)

My Dream House

2008-08-10T20:02:00.004-04:00

I have a confession to make... I am addicted, and I mean addicted, to magazines about home decor and design. "Better Homes and Gardens," "Cottage Style," "Country Living," "Country Home," all of those types of magazines. I love looking through the books, imagining all the great things I'd do to my house if I had a cagillion dollars, an army of maids, never touched or sat down on anything, and got rid of my dog... Who manages to get hair in every imaginable place in the house. Some people get fashion magazines and torture themselves on how they'll never look like the models or own their clothes... I choose to do the same with home decor magazines.

My husband says "Better Homes and Gardens" should be called "Better Homes than Yours," and he's right, because unlike my cookbook and cooking magazine obsession (yes, I have one of those too), there's no way I can ever, in a thousand years, have anything resembling what is featured in those perfect, glossy pages. At least with the cookbooks, there's an outstanding chance that I can make what they feature. Being a pretty good cook who likes to experiment with food (and has the thighs to prove it), what those books have don't seem quite so unrealistic as the beautiful home with the perfect window treatments, white couch, and immaculately maintained yards.

Well, poking around the Internet one day, I find much to my delight that there numerous websites and blogs that I can go to in order to further fuel my domestic inadequacy complex... Only these blogs are by real people in real beautiful, lived in houses. People with husbands and dogs and kids and financial limitations... Suddenly, my "Favorites" file is overflowing with tons of pretty, practical, and best of all cheap ideas I can use in my house. And every once in awhile, I float onto a blog that features a house that makes me drool.

Today, I found one such blog, abeachcottage. This poor woman has the unfortunate luck of living in a beach house only a short jaunt to the ocean, an unpleasant situation that I myself dream about almost every day. And her house... Gorgeous. I spent hours looking through her pictures, which were just mesmerising. I have to tell you, the woman had better leave her house locked when she leaves, or else she'll find that I broke in and made myself at home.

Of course, living in a non-coastal town in the US, having a beautiful beach side house is very much a dream... But I wonder, how ridiculous would it be to design my house around an ocean theme (of which I've got tons of stuff I could use for just such a theme) when the ocean itself is about 2 hours away? My sun room is already in a sort of contemporary Caribbean theme, and it seems to work well... Maybe a beachy theme in the rest of the house wouldn't look too bad?

Oh, the dreams... I really need to stop visiting Maine for vacation every year.

Carbon Dating

2008-03-12T09:51:00.003-04:00

So for those who don't know, I spent last week giving my kitchen a complete and total scrub-down. And of course, no kitchen scrub down would be complete if we didn't tackle that messy issue of the stove. I have a gas stove, which I love beyond words... But one of the issues has always been those drip pans. No matter how clean you keep them, eventually, it gets that carbon build-up. I hate that carbon build-up. You can scrub and scrub and scrub and scrub, and you'll take the finish off your drip pans before you get any carbon off of it.

What's funny is that I know others have that problem too, and their solutions for it always intrigue me. One person I know buys disposable aluminum drip pans. Another I know wraps hers in tinfoil. Both are solutions to be sure, but I don't think they're especially attractive solutions... At least, not in my kitchen. I've had quite a few people tell me that when theirs get soiled beyond recognition, they just throw them out because you can replace them for only $20 or so. I can't bring myself to do that for so, so, so many reasons. The funniest solution I've heard is to just buy and use black drip pans so you won't notice the carbon build-up. LOL!

Lucky for me, I learned the trick about how to have spotless drip pans with only very minimal effort. Unfortunately, the process isn’t a chemical-free one, so if you’re sensitive to the strong smell of ammonia, you might just want to stick to those black drip pans. :)

To clean the carbon build-up off of your drip pans, all you need to do is take a drip pan and put it in a large trash bag. Lay the drip pan flat, either on the floor or in a tub (I do this in the garage so it’s outside in a well-ventilated area, but not where animals can get at it), then pour in some ammonia onto the drip pan. Not a ton, but enough to cover the inside of the drip pan. I use about a cup, maybe a cup and a half if I’ve not done this in awhile. Tie the trash bag closed and leave it undisturbed for several hours, or overnight.

When it’s done, a simple wet cloth or sponge and soapy water should be enough to just wipe off those pesky carbon stains. No scrubbing, no scratching the finish, no tinfoil or disposable trays. Just a beautiful, shiny, clean drip pan. And by doing it in a trash bag, you contain the fumes, and can just chuck the bag when you’re done.

Voila!

Be sure to check out the other ladies who've submitted ideas for Works for Me Wed over at Rocks in my Dryer!

No Adult Solicitors

2008-03-11T21:31:00.000-04:00

So as you can see, there's still snow on... Well... Everything. But soon (hopefully anyway) the snow will melt, and spring will finally come a-knockin. Unfortunately, with spring a-knockin comes others a-knockin too.

We live in the country, but we live in an area that's not too far from a small town, and in an area that has a very small cluster of houses. We get lots of kids selling stuff for school, groups selling on behalf of sports leagues, various clubs and their fundraisers, all of which I love. It is one of the joys I have in this little community, is that the kids still feel safe going door-to-door.

Unfortunately, we average at least 2-3 other solicitors a week too. They're not as welcome as our littlest neighbors are. They’re selling something, or they’ve come to speak to me about a cause or a political candidate, and we get a lot… I mean A LOT of religious solicitors. I can’t help but feel that I’m really wasting their time when they come down our drive, since almost universally we’re not interested in what they’ve got for us.

A few weeks back, Monica on Homespun Heart addressed the importance of protecting family time during the day, and she had a really great idea about putting up a notice on the door that expresses how during certain hours, the family is enjoying personal quiet time. I think this is an awesome idea, and I want to implement it in our household. Even though we don’t have kids (yet!!), Mr. Stepford and I may be seeing the daylight hours we have together dwindle drastically. I want to take steps to protect our time together while it’s still here to protect. However, I want to discourage the adults coming with things to sell, not the little ones and their door-to-door visits.

So the question becomes how to word a sign that expresses our desire to keep grown-ups with something to sell at bay, while still expressing a sense of community by encouraging the neighborhood kids to keep coming by? I was thinking something that specifically mentioned “adult solicitors,” something along the lines of “Please no adult-solicitors,” but Mr. Stepford says that the sign reads as if we're trying to discourage prostitutes… Which of course we don’t want around the house either, but I’m not going for a sign that could be confused as a XXX statement. I want something that folks who are outside of our community will understand as me asking them to not waste their precious time pitching something that we're not interested in.

Does anybody have any suggestions how to delicately word a sign?

Spring Clean 2008 ~ The Kitchen

2008-03-08T09:48:00.004-05:00

So much of yesterday was spent working on the Kitchen for Monica's Spring Clean Challenge. Can I just tell you, the kitchen looks stunning! It took a lot of work to get it that way, though. I had to:

Move all appliances and clean the counter (including the toaster oven)
Clean the appliances, inside and out
Clean and polish the windowsill and window
Clean stovetop and dishwasher
Pull out all pots and pans, stored appliances, etc, clean the cupboards inside and out (ick!)
Organize pots and pans using new organizing tools (Hurrah Dollar Tree!!)
Put away all recipe books, magazines, and cards
Clean out and throw away old spices
Clean sink, wipe with oil
Clean fridge, inside and out
Clean end tables and reorganize
Sweep and wash floors

I did so much more than that, since I set aside 3 days to clean, but really my mind is such a blur, I can’t think of it. Genius me, I did a “before,” “after,” and “during” picture, but I managed to delete all of them off my camera. Wait, my camera wasn’t working for awhile, so I’ll say that my camera had a glitch and all the pictures were deleted. Yeah, that’s it. LOL!

Anyway, I retook the “after” pictures for us all to delight in my immaculate kitchen. I love how my end-table looks with my recipe book and my box of cards. :)

If you're not participating in the Spring Clean, I really encourage you to do so. Check out Monica's site, and let me know you're participating too, so I can check up on you!!

Favorite Ingredient Friday ~ Mexican Edition!

2008-03-07T08:04:00.003-05:00

So this week's edition of Favorite Ingredient Friday is Mexican-themed. And I have to tell you, I had an insanely hard time picking which one of my many, many, many, many Mexican recipes to use. I finally settled on this one though, not because of how fancy it is, but because it's really the core of so much Mexican-style cooking: flour tortillas.

Now, this is a two-part recipe. The first part is making the mix for the tortillas that you can store in an air-tight container for up to 6 months. The second part is actually portioning out that mix and making the tortilla itself.

I'll admit, these' taste slightly different than the tortillas you buy at the store, but I swear, once you start making them, you won't want to switch. I can't even remember the last time we bought tortillas. I think it was when Mr. Stepford wanted to "save me the trouble" so he bought a package for soft tacos, but then said that he missed the taste of the homecooked ones so much that he'd never do it again. :D

So here it is, and happy Friday!
~~~~

Flour Tortillas

Tortilla Mix (can be stored for up to 6 months):

8 1.2 Cup All-Purpose Flour
2/3 Cup Nonfat Dry Milk Powder
1 Tablespoon Baking Powder
1 teaspoon Salt
1 Cup Shortening

In a large bowl, combine the flour, milk powder, baking powder, and salt. With a pastry blender, cut in shortening until crumbly. Store in an airtight container in a cool, dry place for up to 6 months.

To Prepare Tortillas From the Mix:

2 1/2 cups mix
1/2 cup water
plus an additional 1 or 2 TBL Water if needed

Combine 2 1/2 cups tortilla mix and 1/2 cup water. Stir with a fork until mixture forms a ball, adding additional water if necessary. Turn onto a lightly floured surface. Kneed 6-8 times or until smooth and combined. Divide into 10 portions. Roll each piece into an 8-in. circle.

In a 10-in ungreased (that's so important... No greasing!) skillet, cook each tortilla over medium-high heat for 30-45 seconds or until bubbles form. Turn tortilla. Pressing bubbles down with a spatula. Cook about 30 seconds longer or until lightly browned.

Yield: 10 Tortillas

~~~~

There is a version of the same recipe to make spinich tortillas, but I've never done it. I'll share it, but make sure you share how it turns out. :D

For Spinach Tortillas:

1/4 cup Spinach, chopped frozen, thawed and squeezed dry
1/3 cup plus 2 to 3 TBL Water

In a blender, combine spinach and 1/3 cup water; cover and process until pureed. In bowl combine 2 1/2 cups tortilla mix in spinach mixture. Continue as above.

Spring Clean 2008

2008-03-05T07:28:00.004-05:00

So it's that time of year again! Monica over at one of my favorite blogs, The Homespun Heart, is hosting her annual Spring Clean which I am, for sure, going to participate in this year.

She has kindly posted her cleaning schedule which I will be generally following, with some minor changes:

Here's my plan:

The Kitchen ~ March 5th - 7th
The Dining Room ~ March 10
The Bedroom ~ March 12th - 14
The Guest Bath ~ March 17
The Main Bath ~ March 19 - 20
The Laundry Room ~ March 21
The Sun Room ~ March 24
The Living Room ~ March 26 - 28

I'd love to squeeze in the office and guest rooms as well, but we shall see. This is a pretty ambitious schedule for any person, much less me. I'm hoping that if some of the rooms run faster than others, I'll be able to pick up in the two neglected rooms as well. We shall see, right? LOL!

I hope all of you pop over to see Monica and sign up for the Spring Clean. The more, the better!

How To Tempt Financial Fate

2008-03-05T07:00:00.002-05:00

So it's WFMW again, backwards edition! Which means instead of blessing you all with a fabulous tip from Stepford, you all bless me with some fantastic feedback and advice to a question I have. This couldn't come at a better time, as I have a question that's really occupied my mind this last day or so.

As I'm sure you've been reading, I've decided our spending must change and I've begun kicking around plans and ideas to help our family back on the road to responsible spending and saving. This has been hard, as life has given those few wrinkles that I'd have normally run out and solved by shopping with the plastic... Namely and most tragically, our digital camera of 10 years has finally died leaving me without a camera.

Well, as some may or may not know, I have a part-time job to help me pay my school loans and pad our savings. While the pay is fairly small, we do have the opportunity to make more money through commissions, which are awarded as a gift card to the place where I work. The commissions aren't large at all, but it's a good deal, as we can buy everything from groceries to home electronics to outdoor sporting goods with said gift cards. In fact, one of the things I was saving for at the store where I work (before going frugal) was a kayak that I had anticipated buying later this month with money from savings (that I'd been saving for quite awhile) and a coupon that saves me $50. I love kayaking and it’s something I enjoy doing in the summer with my husband as a cheap, entertaining diversion. However, our frugal planning has made me question if that's really such a prudent purchase, even though I'd been saving specifically for it before we went frugal.

Yesterday I got my commission gift card from my boss, and what should have been $42 she doubled to $84 because I was the top earner of the season. Now, the problem... What to do with said gift card? Should I:

Buy groceries with the $84 gift card (which will last a couple of weeks as groceries) and put the surplus money that we save from the budget into savings…

Combine the gift card of $84 with the coupon for $50 and buy the kayak, putting the money that was saved for said kayak but not used into savings…

Take the gift card to replace the digital camera that died on us, saving no money at all and actually costing us extra money since getting a digital camera for $84 is unlikely…

Take the gift card, stuff it away somewhere, and decide later… Possibly after earning more cash and gift cards to put towards mystery something…

Now, Mr. Stepford says that because the money is completely unanticipated and outside of our budget, in the form of a gift card, and the result of a job incentive for a job well-done, I should take it and do with it what I want… Either buy a kayak or a digital camera. My frugal mind says it’s more practical to buy groceries and save the rest, or hide away the gift card for a rainy day, when the choice becomes more obvious (read: when something goes on sale and I can save more), but my non-frugal mind wants that camera or kayak!!

So now, dear readers, if you were in my situation where you found yourself with a fairly good sum of money, tax-free, what would you do with it? Buy the want you’ve been saving for (kayak), the want you will eventually need (camera), save it for later, or use it practically?

Edit: It appears my camera has hit a second life. It's apparently working again. For how long, who knows, but it's at least trying to cash in on another of it's 9 lives. Oh wait... Is that cameras or cats?

Paper or Plastic?

2008-03-03T07:31:00.000-05:00

I'm a child of the plastic revolution. What does that mean? It means that for the whole of my life as an employee, I've had the option of using plastic... IE the debit/credit card. I'd say that well over 90% of my lifetime transactions anywhere were made with a debit card (I have a credit/debit card, but the credit portion is attached to my debit account... I do not have an actual credit card). My ability to spend when I only have a limited amount of on-hand cash available? Not so good. Pair that with the anxiety I feel when I know I've walked out the door with only X amount of money, and I've just justified quite beautifully to myself why I *need* debit cards. What if I get into an accident and I can't afford to get help? What if I go out and the bill is a little higher than I thought? I'll be so embarrassed! What if I'm abducted by aliens and the only way they'll let me go free is if I show to them my Visa card and I don't have it?

But as we all know, paying with plastic gives comfort, but it also removes accountability. It's easy to spend it if I was never actually were holding onto the money. There's no "Oh, I can't afford this... I don't have the cash on me." It's all "Oh, I'm sure I have $10.50 in my account. No biggie." And I think to myself that it's *only* $10.50... But you know, 10.50 a month for a year in extra spending is $126. That's a lot of money! Or at least it is for me... That's two weeks worth of groceries, plus a half tank of gas. Yikes. And I'll be honest, my extra spending isn't $10.50 a month. I easily buy $10.50 of wants, and then some, each week. Why? Because it's easy to spend it when you use plastic. *Really* easy.

So as part of my Fledgling Frugalness, I've been reading Meredith's posts on Living Well on Less, and in one of her posts she talks about paying cash for the day-to-day expenses. It's so simple, so brilliant, I'm almost embarrassed it didn't occur to me earlier. But hey, as a child of the Plastic Revolution, I've been trained to think only plastic and not paper. Even in my Home Ec. classes in school, they taught that the (at that time) new idea of using debit was the cure-all to budgeting illnesses. One didn't need to keep a register or an accounting record... The bank did it for you!! Of course, if you let the bank do it for you and you didn't keep on top of it, that financial manager called the bank would charge you $25 for every overdraft... But hey, that's way easier than balancing your checkbook, and it takes less time. And that little $25 fee, call it an investment. In investment in never worrying that you don't have enough money. Comfort in knowing that no matter what, that plastic card means you can buy it, even if you can't afford it.

Here's the thing though... I know paying cash works to keep my spending in check. I made a pledge to spend only $100 every-other-week on groceries for the family, and to make sure I did it, I only carried $100 in cash. I knew if I spent it elsewhere, that meant my family didn't eat. And boy oh boy, is that a motivator to a financial diet.

There's always that nagging fear, though... The "what ifs" of fear or embarrassment for not having that plastic lifeline there at your beck and call to get you out of those silly little jams that life throws at you and greed tells you that you have to bend to... But let's put it in perspective. I have other financial fears that will come true if we don't adhere to a budget of some type ~

If we pay minimum payment on our debts, and gain no more, then our debt will be paid off right when my husband hopes to retire. That means for all of our adult life, we will be in debt

If we do not put aside money to savings, we will always earn more debt when we have unexpected expenses

If we put all of our money to current spending and paying off the minimums on our debt, we will not have any money in savings

We also won't have money for our kids savings

More frighteningly, we will have nothing set aside for our children's college education, weddings, or even to bail them out if they find themselves in a jam

I don't know about you guys, but the embarrassment I'd feel in having to put back $10 worth of stuff at the grocery store is far less then that of looking at my kids and saying "Sorry... We can't afford college unless you dive into the kind of debt I dove into and didn't escape until your father retired." I know I don't want that for my kids. And I know I don't want my husband to question his ability to provide because we both didn't want to undertake the trouble to budget, and now we're in our golden years and fearing how we can survive financially. The humiliation that I'd feel in leaving our kids with debt after we pass on, or even worse, asking for their support because we didn't prepare... I just can't do it. And I don't think I've really stopped to think that if we don't make this effort, that may just be what happens.

So, this weekend, Mr. Stepford and I are really going to sit down and lay out the path for our financial diet. It won't be easy I'm sure, but really, it has to be done. I'm sure that we can show the restraint it takes to succeed in this. Really, in terms of investments, is there a better one out there that we can make? I don't think so. :)

Favorite Ingredients Friday

2008-02-29T09:57:00.002-05:00

Yay! Favorite Ingredient Friday!! Woo-hoo!!

This recipe coms from m sister, with the warning "this is soooooo yummy!" That is no lie. Everybody who's had this LOVES this, and my husband positively craves it. I made it for a weekend with the boys he had, and apparently it was gone in the first afternoon, with men... Grown men... Taking pieces and hiding them from each other so they didn't have to share.

Thank goodness it's super, super, super easy to make. :)

~~~~

Sopapilla Cheesecake

2 cans crescent rolls
3 8 oz. cream cheese
2 cups sugar, divided
1/2 stick butter/margarine, melted
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. cinnamon

Preheat the oven to 350.

Spread one can of crescent rolls in bottom of 9x13 inch pan. Mix together cream cheese, 1 1/2 cup sugar, and vanilla. Spread on the crescent roll layer. Unroll second can of crescent rolls on top as top crust. Pour melted butter evenly over the top layer of dough. Mix the remaining 1/2 c sugar and 1 t cinnamon and sprinkle it evenly over the top. Bake 350 for 30 minutes. Cut into 2" squares.

Serve hot or cold or with caramel topping.

~~~~
As usual, don't forget to visit Overwhelmed with Joy for everybody who participated this week! There's some delish stuff over there... :)

Birds Need Some Love Too

2008-02-27T09:06:00.003-05:00

Yay! Another addition of Works for Me Weds! I have to tell you, here in Stepford we were hammered with yet ANOTHER snowstorm. What was supposed to be about 5-8 inches of fluffy whiteness actually ended up being more than a foot of soggy, power outage-making, cold wetness. Ick.

This weather isn't just hard on people, it's hard on wildlife too. That's why I've decided to devote this WFMW to taking care of our outdoor feathered friends. :)

Here are a couple of tips, tricks, and recipes I like to use to keep my birdies happy and healthy (and coming back for more). Both of these are wonderful to do with the chickies in your household... :)

First up:

Cornbread Cake

2 Packages of cornbread mix
Eggs as per the mix, plus one
Apple juice
1/2 cup cracked corn
1/2 cup frozen berries
1/2 cup sunflower seeds
1/8 cup raisins
1/4 cup thistle seed
1/4 cup millet

Directions

Mix the cornbread mix with eggs as per package instructions, substituting apple juice for the milk. Add corn, berries, sunflower seeds, and raisins, stirring until blended.

Pour into greased pan and sprinkle with thistle and millet seeds. Bake at 350 for 45 minutes. When cool, cut up and add to outdoor feeders, place on trees, or even on the ground.

Did you know you can also make your own seed bells?

Seed Bell

8 inches of picture wire
1 cup mixed seeds (just the basic kind you find at any store)
2 egg whites, lightly beaten
3 inch terra-cotta flower pot
1 oven bag or aluminum foil

Take the picture wire and, using your index finger, wrap a nice sized loop into the wire, tying it securely. Make periodic loops through the 8 inches of wire, fairly close together... This will help to keep the seed bell hanging on the wire.

In a bowl, mix together the egg whites and seeds, until the seeds are completely coated. Then, line the inside of the flower pot with the aluminum foil, making sure that the aluminum foil comes over the edge and outside of the pot (so you can pull it out!). Pour the seed mixture into the pot. Pole the wire through the mixture and through the dranage hole of the pot, pulling the first loop you made all the way through to the bottom of the flower pot.

Bake mixture for 1 1/2 hours at 200 degrees. When done, let cool and then pull the bell free of the pot by yanking on the foil. Seperate the foil from the bell (do it outside so seeds that fall out fall outside), and hang.

You can also make a very simple suet, that your birds will LOVE, by mixing equal parts of shortening, peanut butter, and seeds together, and putting the mixture in old onion bags and hanging from trees. This is a favorite of woodpeckers far and wide. Or, you can melt the mixture in a saucepan, pour it on the bottom of an aluminum pie tin, freeze it, and then (when frozen) hang the pie-tin outside. Have an old muffin tray? Fill it with the melted suet mix, freeze, and then before hanging outside, stick posicle sticks in each of the little suet muffins to make a nice perch for them to eat on.

I like to have a little fun with the seeds I have by sprinkling them on the white snow in patterns, shapes, and designs. It makes it pleasing to the eyes, and pleasing to birdy tummies. Earlier, I used cracked corn, sunflower seed, and seed mix to create a lovely sand beach with sun shining overhead. Ah, wishful thinking. :)

One thing to remember about making food, or leaving food, for our feathered friends this time of year is that these birdies need a lot of fat to make it through the winter. Throwing out bread slices, bagels, and the like will of course be eaten, but it fills their tummies without giving them the proper nutrients they need, and in the end doing more harm than good. To make it better for them, crumble it and mix it with high-fat things like lard and peanut butter, or adding lots and lots of seeds.

These are such fun little crafts to do, even if you don't have little ones in the house. And there's such a great feeling of satisfaction when you look outdoors in the field of white to see the occasional smattering of color that comes with the birds eating your tasty treats. :)

My House of Dreams ~ Rescuing the Kitchen & Related Dilemmas

2008-02-22T12:03:00.010-05:00

I haven't been around much today, and I'm sorry for that. I really did want to post something today. Turns out my inspiration today is more of the action variety, not so much the typing variety. I've spent a majority of today just overhauling my kitchen. I've made some grand progress. I've pulled out some stuff for a yard sale, and I've made a better use of the storage space I've got. I'm amazed by how just something so little has freed up so much space. I'm hoping that by tomorrow, I'll be done with most of the project. The biggest victory was weeding out a long-ignored drawer that was stuffed with paper, and weeding down thousands of pages to just a handful. Woo-hoo me!!

But now here's a question to all of the Mrs.’s out there...

One of the biggest things I can do to declutter my kitchen (and make it seem much cleaner and more grown-up) is to take down the extensive collection of bottles and beer steins, which have been collected over the years that are displayed at the top of our cabinets. Of course, all of the bottles and steins signify something wonderful and important to us as a couple or to my husband individually... The empty bottle of champagne from my 21st birthday, the empty bottle of Rum from the Caribbean which we had on our honeymoon, the German beer bottle from when he was serving his country overseas... The problem is that this is Mr. Stepford’s beloved collection, which he likes quite a lot. So suggesting it be taken down is met with the same enthusiasm as if one were to ask to cut his left arm off and feed it to a wild bear.

Oh but ladies, it’s so... So... So tacky! It’s so not Avonlea Country Home, it’s College Frat House. It’s not happily married couple in their mid and late 30’s, it’s a group of male roommates. I feel so embarrassed even sharing that my house has this kind of decor in a common living space! I don’t want him to get rid of the bottles completely, of course. We can store them until we get a larger house, and he can display them in a basement rec room, or he can display them in his office for all of me. I just don’t want them in the kitchen. They don’t fit and they get dirty... Ladies, you know.

Now, I’m hoping that when Mr. Stepford comes home from work and sees the hard work I’ve put into cleaning the kitchen, and organizing it, he’ll be more receptive to the idea of taking them down. But that’s pretty unlikely. So how can I either encourage a compromise on this front, OR somehow incorporate this Frat House motif into my kitchen? Or maybe coping techniques to ignore this horrid eyesore...

I need suggestions ladies. I can’t ask my guests to just not look above eye-level. LOL!

Favorite Ingredients Fridays ~ Side Dish Edition

2008-02-22T09:38:00.006-05:00

Yay! It's Favorite Ingredients Friday! I love participating in this little Friday ritual. :)

This week's theme is side dishes, and actually it was a hard one for me. Apparently, I have a startling lack of side-dish recipes in my arsenal. It's kind of embarrassing, really.

I ended up choosing a recipe for corn fritters, which might not seem like a traditional side-dish, but in our family it kind of is. I remember making these the first time because I had leftover corn and a desire to try something new while having a finger-food dinner (kind of a thing we do in our family). We liked them so much, we upgraded them to mealtime partner to things like fried chicken, country fried steak, BBQ pork so that we could take advantage of the fryer oil we were already using.

This recipe also saved my life. My father's favorite snack is oyster fritters that can only be found once a year at a fair. I sneakily bought a box of the fritter mix from the folks that make them and attempted to recreate them for my father's birthday... To absolutely disasterous results. Out of desperation, I adapted this corn fritter recipe to oyster fritters, and they never had a chance to cool down my father ate them so fast. He thought I had swiped the recipe from the folks at the fair. :)

I'd love to fiddle with these to make them apple fritters, even fried dough, but I haven't gotten around to it. It's on my "To Do" list. :)

So here it is, my recipe for Corn Fritters:

~~~~

Corn Fritters

3 C. Oil for frying
1 C. All-Purpose Flour, sifted
1 tsp. Salt
1/4 tsp. White Sugar
1 Egg, lightly beaten
1/2 C. Milk
1 TBL. Shortening, melted
1 (12 oz) can Whole Kernel Corn, drained

Heat oil in a heavy pot or deep fryer to 365 degrees F (185 degrees C).

In a medium bowl, combine flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar. Beat together egg, milk, and melted shortening; stir into flour mixture. Mix in corn kernels.

Drop fritter batter by spoonfuls into the hot oil, and fry until golden. Drain on paper towels and serve warm.

My House of Dreams: Part 1

2008-02-21T14:08:00.005-05:00

Excerpt from Chapter 9 of "Anne's House of Dreams" by L.M. Montgomery:

"You've made this little house just about perfect," he told Anne. "It never was so nice before. Mistress Selwyn had your taste and she did wonders; but folks in those days didn't have the pretty little curtains and pictures and nicknacks you have... I'd be real happy even if we couldn't talk at all, when I come here--jest to sit and look at you and your pictures and your flowers would be enough of a treat. It's beautiful--beautiful." ~ Captain Jim

I'm deeply into the "Anne of Green Gables" series right now. I've never read them, or seen the movies, and I'm really loving the experience of the story. I will say that I am cheating though as I'm not actually READING the books... I don't have time. I'm downloading them for free from Librivox.org, which has a *gigantic* library of audio books available for free download. If you've never visited there, you need to. They're awesome.

Anyway, I download chapters to my MP3 player, and listen to them while walking or on the way to work. Not as good as reading the book, but it's the best I can do at the moment. I'm always so touched and blown away by the descriptions in the series, especially the descriptions about their homes. Patty's Place, Green Gables, Echo Lodge, the house by Four Winds... The descriptions of their houses leave me so enamored. I’d love to keep house like that.

I’ll be honest, I love my house, but we’ve been there almost 5 years and the honeymoon is most certainly over, so to speak. The few faults our house has are so much easier to focus on and all I can see is how it’s not arraigned in a way I’d like. Our furniture is a collection of what I had before I was Mrs. Stepford, what Mr. Stepford got while in the Army, and what we bought as a family not really for looks but because it was cheap. Our design theme is a mixture of “what was on sale” and “where it fits.” I feel like I live in a mismatched twenty-something apartment, not a grownups house. On top of that, we’ve outgrown our little house something awful. We have so much stuff, very little of it organized, and we’ve no space to do anything with it. It’s depressing. I don’t know if it’s early, pre-pregnancy nesting, me growing up, me having too much time on my hands… But I’ve never been more frustrated with my house than I am now at this very second.

But our house has so much potential. It flows beautifully, there’s so much light and warmth… Even when the trees are bare and the weather is cold, our yard is so pretty to look at and is the source of so much beauty. We have so much privacy and we’re still close to what we need. We’re surrounded by nature, but we also have a nice community nearby, so we get trick-or-treaters and kids selling door-to-door, and summer evenings filled with laughing people and children playing and even ice cream trucks going by. My yard is huge and has lots of trees, and we’ve managed to put out lots of flowers and plants that just feel like us.

I think this house could honestly be all I want it to be, if I could just get my tush in gear, weeded and pruned our stuff, found a way to dress up furniture we have or afford furniture we don’t have. Problem? I’m not a decorator. I can clean, but I’m not creative. So while I do the cleaning, I need you guys to give me ideas or suggestions. Really, any and all ideas are awesome. Show me pictures, show me articles, share anecdotes and articles, send me to blogs… I’ll take it all. :)

In the meantime, I’ll keep you posted on how this whole project is going. I promise, I will have an adult’s house by the time this is said and done. I know it. I just need more time, motivation, and of course, ideas. :)

Febreze Stinks

2008-02-20T10:15:00.005-05:00

I'm a creature that modern advertising would have you believe doesn't exist. I even think I might be something of an enigma, since I am the only person I know who feels like I do... But I'll say it here and now for the record:

I hate Febreze. I think it smells awful. I think it smells like mold. I really don't like it, even a little. And it's expensive!

That leaves me in a pickle. Of course I have things I think need freshening up, and I love the idea of Febreze. But man, it just stinks!

So I can't tell you how happy I was when a recipe for making my own Febreze crossed my desk. I have to tell you... It's my favorite home management recipe. It works like a miracle, and it's cheap to make, and I can pick my own smell which, in my opinion, "fits" into my house better than stinky Febreze does.

The recipe is as follows:

1/2 to 1 cup liquid laundry softener (I love Apple Mango Tango)
1 cup vinegar
2 to 3 cups water

Mix in a spray bottle, and spray as you would Febreze. Works wonders on couches, beds and sheets, carpets, dog beds, car seats, etc.

Now, the reason the exact measure of the softener and water varies is because it depends on how powerful you want the smell to be. Something light and subtle calls for less softener and/or more water. Or if the smell of the liquid fabric softener is powerful, you might need to use less of it. On the flip side, if you want it to really smell fresh, use lots of softener and not a lot of water. Customize it to how you want it to work.

I like this recipe a lot better than the regular Febreze. Instead of smelling like damp mold, everything smells like it's fresh from my dryer. That's so much tastier, I think, than Febreze stink.

Things to keep in mind:

Depending on the softener you use, if you spray too much of the stuff, you could end up with a chalky film on some of your fabrics. So spray lightly and spray gently. And check your fabrics to make sure they won't be stained or damaged. If you find that a lot of your stuff is ending up with that chalky film, add more water, and use less softener next time. :)

Favorite Ingredients Friday: Peanut Banana Muffins

2008-02-16T19:27:00.006-05:00

This isn’t usually the type of recipe I like, but I tried baking it as a treat for the kids at school back in my preschool teacher days. They’re actually really tasty!! It’s got a peanuty taste that’s not too peanuty, and they’re pretty hearty. And they were a big hit with the kids! And pretty popular with husbands too. :D

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Peanut Banana Muffins

1 1/2 C. All-Purpose Flour
1/2 C. Sugar
1 tsp. Baking Powder
1/2 tsp. Baking Soda
1/2 tsp. Salt
1 Egg
1/2 C. Butter or Margarine
1 1/2 C. Ripe Bananas, mashed (about 3 medium bananas)
3/4 C. Peanut Butter Chips

Preheat oven to 375.

In a bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In another bowl, combine the egg, butter, and bananas. Stir into dry ingredients just until moistened. Fold in chips. Fill greased or paper-lined muffin cups three-fourth full. Bake at 375 degrees for 18-22 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool for 5 minutes before removing from pan to wire rack.

Yield: 1 dozen (but I like these as mini-muffins the best...!!)
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Visit Overwhelmed with Joy for all of this week's posters! :)

Nasty Water Leads to Nasty Showers

2008-02-15T08:25:00.000-05:00

My pet peeve is a dirty bathroom. I hate it. Unfortunately, my shower seems to collect nastiness. My shampoo trick works a miracle on that ring-around-the-tub soap scum, and it has the added plus of being a chemical-free cleaning option. Really good for those of us who're trying to get pregnant.

But for the longest time, my showerhead was the bane of my existence. I have a rain shower, and the showerhead used to get so gunked up with our nasty city water. After awhile, it'd get this weird, orangy-brown rust colored mold around the little spouts where the water pours out. Scrubbing it out was a nightmare, and it was messy. I couldn't take the showerhead down, because it would cause Mr Stepford serious stress, so I thought it was just destined to be icky forever.

Then I found the perfect cure. If I filled a freezer bag with vinegar, then I rubberbanded it super tight around the showerhead. If I left it overnight, all the mold was gone. This technique is now one of my once-a-month chores for my bathroom cleaning routine.

Oh, and by the way... We got a free daily shower cleaner, the kind where you hang it on the wall and push a button and it "cleans" the shower. Those are such a scam. They do not work, at all. Save your money... It actually made my shower dirty. Blech.

Tiny Bubbles... In My Tub... Makes Me Happy... Makes Me Feel Fine

2008-02-13T09:16:00.002-05:00

As anyone will tell you, crafts are an addiction of mine. I love doing crafts, especially bath and body crafts, or kid-aimed crafts. I don't know if it's the kid in me, or if it's just practice for Mommyhood, but I can't get enough of crafting.

One of my favorites is this really neat bubble bath that's actually like Jello. I've made it for years for my nieces for their birthdays. It's always such a hit with the preteen set!

Jello Bath

3/4 cup of water
1 Packet of unflavored gelatin
1/2 cup of baby bubble bath
Food Coloring, if desired
1/8 to 1/4 tsp. fragrance oils, essential oils, or even extracts
Plastic storage jar with lid, or glass jam jars

Boil the water using a kettle or saucepan, and carefully pour it into a mixing bowl. Add the gelatin, and stir until it dissolves completely. Mix in the baby bath soap, and add the fragrence oils. Stir until mixed, but stir slowly so as to not create bubbles. When mixed, pour into the clean storage container and allow it to set 4 hours, or overnight.

To use, scoop out some Jello with a spoon and add it to running bath water. The Jello lasts for about a month. Discard it if you notice the growth of mold.

One of my favorite things to do is to add a little trinket to the Bath Jello after it's been poured into the storage container, but before it sets. Little things like gemstones or silk flowers or small toys or jewelry (like a cheapo ring or bracelet) really customize the Jello, and it gives the kiddos something to be psyched about.

A word of warning though... Use the unflavored Jello when you make this gel, unless you're fond of a fancy colored tub and oddly colored children. One of my girlfriends did this with her daughter using blue raspberry Jello... Her daughter looked like a Smurf, and her tub was the prettiest shade of pale blue.

Favorite Ingredients Friday - Chocolate Edition

2008-02-12T20:19:00.000-05:00

Ok, Ok, I know I'm a little late for Favorite Ingredients Friday, but better late than never, right? Really, I think it's a bigger crime to share a recipe for something so delish and so anti-healthy right after a Motivational Monday... :-P

This particular recipe has been made in my parent's household, and my household, since forever. It was one of the first things I remember cooking and my mother, a 4-H cooking leader (just like me!) has the kids make this every year at their last meeting. Making it on our own was something of a right of passage for the kids of my mother's household. And in my household, we make it once a year... On that fateful day of romance, Valentine's Day. It's so decedent and delish, perfect for Valentine's treats.

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Chocolate Fondue

6 1 oz. squares Unsweetened Chocolate
1 1/2 C. Sugar
1 C. Light Cream
1/2 C. Butter
1/8 tsp. Salt

Prepare ahead: Cut or slice dippers to a bite size for dipping and eating.

In saucepan, melt chocolate over low heat. Add sugar, cream, butter, and salt. Cook, stirring constantly, about 5 minutes or until thickened. Pour into fondue pot; place over fondue burner. Spear dipper with fondue fork; dip into sauce. If the sauce cools too much and becomes too thick, reheat over low heat.

Serves 6 to 8.

Suggested dippers: Angel food cake, pound cake, apples, maraschino cherries, marshmallows, bananas, strawberries, cookies, pretzels, gummy bears...

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Ice Cream Therapy

2008-02-09T08:52:00.001-05:00

I'll admit it, I'm a dork. Huge, huge dork. When I feel ill, there's nothing in the world I want more than ice cream. As my big butt will attest to, I feel ill a lot. Or at least that's the excuse I'm sticking to.

Seeing as how we're on something of a budget, I'm not buying ice cream like I want to, so I've resorted to my days as a preschool teacher to get my ice cream fix. Meaning, I've been making ice cream in a bag like nobody's business.

Ice cream in a bag, for folks who don't know, is quite literally, making ice cream in a bag. It's lots of fun for the wee-ones, of course. It's not like it makes Ben and Jerry's quality IC... Really, it makes kind of a icy milk shake/flurry sort of thing (maybe because I use skim?)... But it's still fun to do, and it gives you a little fix.

Here's the rough recipe I use, but I change things here and there:

1/2 cup milk
1/4- 1/2 teaspoon vanilla (or other extract)
1 tablespoon sugar
4 cups crushed ice
4 tablespoons salt
2 quart size Zip-loc bags
1 gallon size Zip-loc freezer bag

Directions:

Mix the milk, vanilla and sugar together in one of the quart size bags. Seal tightly, sqeezing out as much air as humanly possible. If you want, tape the seal closed to prevent leaking. Place this bag inside the other quart size bag, again leaving as little air inside as possible and sealing well. This is to keep salt water from leaking into your ice cream!!

Put the two bags inside the gallon size bag and fill the bag with ice, then sprinkle salt on top. Again let all the air escape and seal the bag. Wrap the bag in the towel, and shake and massage the bag, making sure the ice surrounds the cream mixture. Ice cream should start forming in about 5 to 15 minutes of massaging. This is for one immediate serving... It doesn't keep well.

I like to use different extracts besides vanilla. Root beer extract tastes like a float... I love it! But cherry is decent too. When I'm feeling really froggy, I use chocolate milk with mint extract and add some chocolate chips. It makes for a super tasty shake-like treat.

I wish it was summer... Unless I'm sick, I can't get in the mood for ice cream. *cough cough* Uh-oh... Better get some ice cream for that.

Death Just Won't Let Go

2008-02-08T23:29:00.000-05:00

You know, I don't know what my issue is. I'm pretty sure my body has launched a full-scale war against my brain. My body is telling me I'm not well, my brain is telling me I'm fine. As a result, I'm not well enough to think clearly, but not sick enough to have an excuse for it. Why can't my body choose? Get sick or get well? This horrible limbo only serves to exhaust me and make me super crabby.

Which means I'm just a sweet can of peaches to everybody and everyone today.

Blah.

Amazing Kitchen Math

2008-01-29T09:42:00.003-05:00

1 3 pound beef roast ($5), divided into two, added to two crockpots equals:

* 6 individually portioned tupperware containers of Beef Stew with Dumplings
(minus one bowlful that fell into my bowl and was eaten...)
* 6 individually portioned tupperware containers of Shredded Beef in BBQ Sauce

It also equals one full freezer of Freezer Pleasers, 6 insta-meals, or 12 days worth of grab-and-go homecooked meals for work. The Beef Stew is ready to eat as-is, and with only two slices of bread (attached to each container), the Shredded Beef transforms into delish BBQ sandwiches.

Not bad for a hunk of meat, if you ask me. :D

Sit, Breathe, Relax, and Smile

2008-01-27T09:43:00.001-05:00

Christmas is always something of a blowout for my family, and I'm ashamed to admit that I've yet to find a place for all the sweet little odds and ends and trinkets bestowed upon me by loving friends and family. This is unfortunate, since my mother gave me quite a few knick-knacks by "Nature's Sketchbook," including this Guest's Greeting Frame, which is a small frame with a little greeting, flanked by flowerpots, a nesting bird, and a birdhouse. I was really happy to get it, since I'm redoing my guestroom, and I think it contains the perfect little welcome message I'd like guests to see when they tuck in for the night.

As luck always has it, on Saturday (in the midst of my organizing, cleaning, sorting, and putting away) we got an unexpected call from a friend, saying he was going to stop by and hang out with us for the day. I proceeded to become a cleaning tornado, picking up this and that, finding temporary homes for all the stuff I had out and was trying to organize. Thinking that my Guest's Greeting Frame wouldn't be seen in the guestroom, I decided to put it in the guest bathroom, on the intelligent guess that it would be seen by our guest and maybe bring a smile.

Sure enough, after many hours of eating, drinking, movies, and video games, our guest excused himself to the restroom. While I was doing some straightening up, I heard an absolute explosion of laughter from the bathroom... When he came out, our guest took my hand and led me to the bathroom, and pointed at my Guest's Greeting Frame, and then broke off into hysterics. I looked at him like he was nuts, and then I stopped to re-read the message in the frame. Suddenly, it came to me why he found it's placement in the bathroom so uproariously funny, and why maybe why it probably doesn't belong in the bathroom.

The message written in the frame is:

"Stop a minute, rest awhile. Sit... breathe... relax... and smile."

Once I got beyond the initial mortification of poor design placement, I also thought it was absolutely hilarious. It did bring a smile, which is what I wanted... That said, the frame is now happily situated in my guestroom. It's a great message for drifting off to sleep, probably best suited for bedsides and not bathrooms.

Favorite Ingredients Friday: Superbowl Edition

2008-01-25T17:27:00.000-05:00

So, one of the blogs I read religiously, Overwhelmed With Joy, does a "Favorite Ingredients Friday" group share. I'm delighted to be able to participate in it for the first time!

This week, the theme is all about the Superbowl, so I figured I'd share my trademark Spinach Artichoke Dip recipe. Ok, so maybe it's not trademarked, and maybe it's not even mine (I got it from Betty Crocker), but it's just so delish, it's become something of my party signature.

I'm thrilled to share it with you guys!

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Spinach Artichoke Dip

1/2 Cup Mayonnaise
1/2 Cup grated Parmesan Cheese (the type from a shaker is yummy)
1 or 2 Medium Green Onions, chopped (or up to 1/4-1/2 cup regular onion)
1 to 3 Cloves Garlic, Chopped
1 Can (14 oz) Artichoke Hearts, well drained and coarsely chopped
5 oz Frozen Chopped Spinach, thawed and squeezed, very well drained

Preheat the oven to 350.

Mix mayonnaise and cheese in a small bowl. Stir in onion, garlic, artichoke hearts, and spinach. Top with more Parmesan Cheese and Cayenne Pepper for extra taste. Spoon into 1-quart casserole. Cover and bake 20 to 25 minutes or until hot. Serve warm with crackers, Melba toast, rye bread, chips, or garlic bread.

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The Liberal Heaving of F-Bombs

2008-01-25T11:36:00.000-05:00

I've noticed lately that a word that I haven't heard in years is making a resurgence this 2008. It's an F word that no woman ever wants to hear or have her name and/or image associated with. That F word would be, of course, "Frump." I've heard all sorts of phrases... Fight the Frump, Dump the Frump, Friends Don't Let Friends Do Frump, even my best friend called his boyfriend a Frump a week or so ago. I've even heard women bestowing upon themselves the title of Frump. I'm going to chalk it up to the new year, or maybe just a whole bunch of people going on midlife crisis at the same time, but "Frump" seems to be on every body's lips.

But dear Ladies of Stepford, you can achieve a look that has you put together, "hip looking," without being a Frump. Frugal living doesn't confine one to non-name brands or prevent you from spending money on yourself. It really can be done, with only a little bit of effort and careful planning.

Here are some tips that I live by:

1. Coupons are your best friends. DealCatcher.com and CouponMountain.com are great for coupons for everything from Victoria's Secret to Bath and Body works. All of the face wash, hand cream, and lotion I use is from Bath and Body works, and I've only spent about $50 there my whole life. They have great sales, and even better coupons available online-only. If you shop during January and July, you will hit their semi-annual clearance sale, where soaps and lotions can be as much as 75% off, and they give away free samples galore.

2. Drug stores usually have some awesome coupons in their fliers, and online. CVS is my go-to store for many beauty products. They allow me to combine coupons on cosmetics, and I get rebates using my CVS cards. I can often purchase name brand skincare products, such as Olay, Loreal, and Revlon, for up to 90% off... Even free. Grocery stores that double coupons are also an unexpected source of great skincare deals.

3. You can buy the basics from places like Wal*Mart, Target, and Kohls and then dress them up to look "hip" and "edgy." Frankly, I like buying the basic ladies fitted tees, tank tops, button up front dress shirts, and sweaters and then updating them with accessories like belts, jewelry, and scarves. That way, I avoid expensive trends, and I avoid having a wardrobe that becomes outdated when a fad passes.

4. When buying cosmetics and/or haircare products, be aware of the amount you use each time you use it and how long it lasts. Often times, products that seem expensive will turn out to be a better investment in the long haul. Example, I buy a product for my hair that leaves it smooth, shiny, frizz and tangle free. It makes my hair look like a super model's hair. But I didn't buy it for the longest time because only 2 ounces of the stuff cost $10.50. However, when I found a 50% off coupon and finally bought it, I realized I only needed 3 drops of the stuff each time I used it. So it turned out that little $10.50 bottle lasts for more than a year, even using it a couple times a week on my longer-than-shoulder length hair, and it doesn't spoil or expire (meaning I don't have to rush to use it). I ended up making an investment in my beauty for a seemingly expensive bottle of hair goop that actually only costs about $.87 a month to use, if it lasts only a year.

5. You can't redo your entire wardrobe, skincare line, makeup products, and hair care products in a week, or even a month. You'll go broke. Slowly and over time, taking advantage of sales and clearances, you can add in items to replace outdated items you already own. If you even just buy 2 shirts on clearance a month, you'll have almost a full week's new clothes in under 6 months. That's far easier for the wallet than a total redo in a week.

The thing to remember is that looking good is an investment. Set aside a few bucks a month specifically devoted to something for your beauty needs. I know some say it's a frivolous waste of money, but really, investing a little time and money in our appearances reaps so many rewards. We boost our confidence in how we look and feel, we leave positive and lasting impressions on others, we teach the younger ones around us the importance of good grooming and remaining in style and relevant without blowing hundreds of dollars on name brands which could be out of style in a month... And let's face it, husbands like their wives when they look good, and not just for the "hey, my wife is hot!" factor. Lots like the boost in confidence they see in their wives, while others appreciate it that even after years together you still care about how you look to him, some like seeing their spouse in a new way... And, Ok, they "hey everybody, my wife is hot!" factor doesn't hurt either.

Here's an article on Yahoo! today on how to update a outdated wardrobe. There's some good tips in here! 10 Ways to Update Your Fashion Wardrobe

Monday: I’m Just Not That Into You.

2008-01-21T11:43:00.001-05:00

Well ladies, it’s Monday again. It seems like every week at about this time, it’s a Monday. I think it’s safe to say that I’m not the only one who’s not a fan of Mondays.

Part of the reason I hate Mondays is because during the weekend, I don’t do any cleaning aside from my morning and evening routines. As a result, some Mondays I’m greeted by the catastrophe that is my house. The logical solution would be to, of course, do some cleaning over the weekend, but gosh darn it… I’m just too lazy. So Mondays, I’m all about the cleaning that is thorough, effective, and most of all, quick. That’s why I’m very glad that Mondays are Kitchen Day in my cleaning schedule. Because we’re there in it all the time, we’re kind of forced to keep it moderately clean, making it quicker to clean on the days where I have to clean it. All things being equal, I can completely clean my kitchen in about 10-15 minutes, from top to bottom. \Really, I don’t devote more than 30 minutes a day to cleaning my house.

Impossible, you say? Well, watch this:

Kitchen Cleaning Routine

1. Fill a bowl of water with lime juice and water, microwave for 2-3 minutes

2. While microwaving water, fill up both sides of sink with hot, soapy water, about 4 inches worth

3. With a broom, knock down cobwebs from ceiling, working clockwise around the room

4. With a microfiber cloth that’s dampened with some of the hot, soapy water, wipe down spots on upper cabinets (again working clockwise around the room)

5. With same microwiber cloth, wipe spots and stains off the wall and tile backsplashes that are above the counters. Wipe any appliance you come across as you go by (excluding stove, fridge, microwave… Just hit things like mixers, decorative knick-knacks, toaster ovens, etc). You’re still going clockwise, right?

6. Wipe off spots on lower cabinets, and wipe down the space between the bottom of the cabinets and the floor. I don’t have to tell you to keep going clockwise…

7. Now, with a new microfiber rag, open up the microwave and wipe it clean, cleaning the ceiling of the microwave first, then back, sides, and finally bottom and door. Clean out around the door seal too.

8. Time to hit the stove… Using the same cloth you cleaned the microwave with (unless it’s nasty, then get a new cloth), wipe it down with the soapy sink water. Don’t forget to clean the top of the oven door, the sides of the oven door, and the drip pans.

9. Counter time! Spray a fresh microfiber cloth with a vinegar and water spray, or a glass cleaner with disinfectant in it (yes, there is such a thing), and wipe down all of the counters, working clockwise, and wiping down the top and sides of the microwave, oven, and sink as you go.

10. Finally, with the hot soapy water, scrub the sink, rinse, spray and wipe/buff with glass cleaner, and… If you feel like it, wipe the insides of the sink with baby oil to prevent stains and water marks (and make it super shiny).

Ta da!

It sounds like a lot, but really once you’ve done it a few times, you can crank right through the routine. There are just three key things to remember:

1. You’re not cleaning to make things perfect, you’re cleaning to make things better than they were before you started.

2. Cleaning is an investment… The more you clean, the easier it will become. So the first time you do the routine, it might take you 30 minutes, but as you clean over and over, there will be less to clean.

3. Clean only what needs to be cleaned. If it doesn’t need to be cleaned, don’t waste your time. If your cabinets all look great, except for a couple spots from where you dropped tomato sauce, then just clean those spots. No need to clean the whole thing every time you clean. By cleaning only what needs cleaning, you save yourself a ton of time and energy… There are, of course, exceptions to this rule… Such as when something needs to be disinfected. Your toilet and counters might look clean, but I’d give them a wipe with the ol’ disinfectant anyway.

So, enough of that. I made some Banana Bread, and it’s time to eat. LOL!

Until next time!

Even Stepford Wives Need Pampering

2008-01-11T11:39:00.000-05:00

Ladies of Stepford, the holidays are over, the halls undecked, the Christmas cards out the door, and life has returned to it’s normal state of frantic chaos. But if your life is like mine, the only difference between the chaos during Christmas and the chaos that goes on the other 11 months of the year is a lot of colored lights, a tree in the living room, and at some point I’m promised to get presents for all my trouble.

Let’s face it, in order to pamper our houses, we have to pamper ourselves first, it’s a simple fact.

One of my favorite quick-pamper solutions is an exfoliating bath scrub. Every other day, I use an exfoliating scrub in the shower, and it leaves my skin soft and smooth and shining. Now, my favorite scrub is from the True Blue Spa: Island Getaway line from Bath & Body Works, called “Need a Margarita?” It’s positively delish. But the stuff costs $13.50 for only 6 ounces, can you believe that?! I think that was even the sale price.

Luckily, this Stepford Wife is not only got an eye for the luxurious, but also an eye for the frugal. So I’ve created a knock-off that works just as well, for mere fraction of the price. You could use my version every day for a month and it’d still cost less than one pot of the store brand.

Now, forgive me, but I usually make this concoction based off of sight and not measurements. But making this stuff isn’t an exact science, so I’m sure you all are smart enough to figure it out.

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The Stepford Wife’s Exfoliating Margarita Exfoliating Scrub

Powdered Margarita Mix, 2-3 packets
Sugar
Baby Oil
Lime Juice
Lemon/Lime Oil (optional)

In a glass jelly jar or other dish, combine the powdered margarita mix with about 1 1/2 - 2 cups of sugar. Combine with enough baby oil to completely moisten the sugar. There should be more sugar than oil in the mixture, and little to no standing oil in the mixture (but if there is, the world won’t end, it’ll still work fine). Add a splash of lime juice (maybe 1-2 tablespoons), and a few drops of lemon/lime/ or even coconut oil, and stir.

Store in the jelly jar, making sure to have a layer of plastic wrap between the lid and the mixture. If it appears to dry out a bit, a splash more baby oil or a splash of water will wake it right up.

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The beautiful thing is that you can really switch this up with any powdered drink mix. I love using Pina Colada mix, too (but I replace the lime juice with coconut juice). Gimlet mix is wonderful too. And you can use it all over your body… After shaving, on rough spots on knees and elbows… I would, though, avoid the face. This is more for body than face.I promise you ladies, this will leave your skin soft and beautiful, and smelling like delish. Follow up this scrub with cotton gloves and footsies, and nobody will ever know that you’ve spent the day scrubbing your brains out.

And should some of the mix fall into a drink with a shot of tequila, your secret is safe with me.

Cleaning Your Throne

2008-01-10T11:30:00.001-05:00

So my darlings, I’m back to the online world. Seems my comments were hijacked by evil spammers, which pushed me to jump back in and regain control of my blog! I guess clutter isn’t limited to your house, is it?

To reward my faithful readers, both of you, here’s some helpful tips related to keeping your throne squeaky clean:

**Been practicing your pucker on the mirror? Have little fingerprints that just won’t vanish no matter how hard you scrub? Mysterious spots show up in the weirdest spots that make you think you’ve contracted chicken pox whenever you gaze at your reflection? The answer: shaving cream. Borrow your husband’s foaming shaving cream and smear a thin layer all over the mirror, or on the pesky stain that won’t vanish. Let it set for a couple of minutes (I use the opportunity to shave… Why not, right?), then scrape off the cream with your hands or a squeegee, and wipe off the mirror with a wet rag. Irritating smudges? Gone. Added bonus: some shaving creams actually keep your mirror from fogging up during steamy showers. Sweet!

**Plop, plop, fizz, fizz… Clean the can using Alka-Seltzer, or if your can is especially dark and dank, whitening denture tablets. Plop 2-4 tablets in the toilet (depending on how icky it is), take a shower and let them fizz for 20-30 minutes. Then, give them the toilet a scrub, a swish, and a flush, and you’ve got a toilet as clean as Grandpa’s pearly whites. Got a hopper that doesn’t get much action? Drop one or two tablets in the can each week to fight that ring-round-the potty.

**Stubborn shower soap scum… We all have it. Use a regular scrubbing sponge or a scrub brush and some of your shampoo to wash it away. Fight it from coming back by rubbing in a thin layer of lemon, orange, mineral, or baby oil on the sides of the tub.

**Love after shower sprays but hate the price? Well then take your baby’s soap and put one capful of it in a spraybottle filled with water, maybe a splash of vinegar for good measure. That works just as well as any commercial shower spray. And it requires no batteries.

**Next time you stand over your sink to scrub your smile, squeeze some of that toothpaste on your faucet. While you brush away your dragon breath, use a paper towel or cotton rag, to scrub down the faucet. Rinse your mouth, and rinse your faucet, give the faucet a quick buff with a microfiber cloth or tissue, and admire your gorgeous smile shining back from your clean faucet. Please note: as tempting as it may be, don’t use your husband’s toothbrush to scrub down the faucet. That’s just not nice.

**Not really remembering what color your plastic inner shower curtain because it’s covered by a funky black growth that reminds you of a horror movie? Take down the plastic liner, throw it in the washer with a shot of bleach. Put it through the regular cycle, and if you feel so motivated, maybe run it through the rinse and spin cycle an extra time. You know, just for good measure. Icky mildew and mold is gone, and curtain restored to it’s original beauty. Unless you’re like me and you buy the cheapo brand X liners which may or may not survive the spin cycle more than a 5 or so times before it falls aprt… Then there’s no helping you, go buy a new curtain. HA!

That should be enough to tide you folks over for the time being.

Swiffer Madness

2007-08-17T11:29:00.000-04:00

Love the Swifter dusters but hate the price and waste?

Replace them with used dryer sheets!

A used dryer sheet is perfect for dusting knick-knacks, getting dust off the TV (and reducing it’s static keeping it dust free for longer), and for dusting wood.

Used dryer sheets also are magic on soap scum around the rim of your tub.

Stitch two dryer sheets together and use it on your floor, with your Swifter “broom.”

I’m off on vacation until mid week next week, so happy cleaning!

The Funky Washer

2007-08-16T11:28:00.000-04:00

Have a washer that smells like an old tent? Accidentally forget to put laundry in the dryer? There’s nothing worse than the smell of a funky washer or a funky load of laundry!

To get the funk out of a forgotton load in the wash, rewash it using your detergent and a shot of vinegar (how much depends on what’s in there… A load of towels will need a lot of vinegar, while a load of sheets probably not). When the cycle is done, put it through rinse again, using HOT water, and chuck it IMMEDIATELY in the dryer.

To de-funkify your washer, spray it down with vinegar, put it through the rinse cycle with 2 towels, and then leave your lid open to air-dry!

In fact, the Stepford Wife always has her washer lid open when it’s not in use to prevent funky washer smells.

The product “Simple Green” also is a wonder against the funky washer.

Remember! NEVER mix bleach with vinegar. That makes for a funky and toxic washer!

Freezer Pleaser Meals

2007-08-15T06:41:00.001-04:00

Picture it… It’s been a crazy day. You’ve been stretched to your breaking point, you’re tired, you’re disheveled, you’re maybe even a little (dare I say it?) crabby. Then, begins the question “What’s for dinner?” That nightly song, sung by the hungry mouths all expecting to pile around the dinner table. But you can’t think of cooking… Do they not know what kind of day you’ve had?! So, you drag yourself to the phone, order the nearest, fastest, take out, and have your dinner brought in little greasy boxes by a shady person that you can’t believe you just told where you live. Several hours later, takeout boxes overflowing from your garbage, you sit down trying to digest the expensive brick that was passed off as edible food, feeling the remorse of giving in to the worst of demons… The takeout monster.

Ladies of Stepford, I’d like to introduce to you the Freezer Pleaser, a fantastic culinary insurance policy for when things go wrong. It’s the superhero in your kitchen arsenal! It defeats hunger! It saves you from post-takeout guilt! It protects the George Washington’s in your wallet! With the unwrapping of foil and the turn of an oven dial (or push of the microwave button) you watch as a food that once resided next to your ice tray turns into a home-cooked meal… And only you know the humble beginnings of this miracle meal. Magically, on your table with almost no effort is a meal that you can be proud of, no heavy stomach, no diet breaking, and best of all, no directing perfect strangers how to get to your house.

Of course, the powers of the Freezer Pleaser aren’t limited to your kitchen table, oh no. They can save you from the takeout monster at work, they can give you ready-made meals for long trips, they can even be used in such emergencies as potlucks and last minute parties (because that happens all the time...). The Freezer Pleaser is the miracle working best friend of the Stepford Wife. Now, this Stepford Wife tries to make at least one Freezer Pleaser every other week in the summer, and every week in the winter.

So what exactly makes a Freezer Pleaser? Well, any food properly stored and frozen could be a Freezer Pleaser, but of course, some foods make better Freezer Pleasers than others. Chicken, ground beef and pork, sausage, kielbasa all make good Freezer Pleasers, as do most meats that are shredded (think pot roast) and/or cut into small and even pieces. Veges like tomatoes, corn, carrots, peas and beans, and the like do real well, while veges like squash and pumpkin and the pulpier, starchy veges do well only when they’re in mashed form. Most non-citrus fruits do well, especially berries. Milk-based meals do well, but only if they’re heated in the oven, and the lower fat the milk, the better it will reheat. Cream-based sauces, because of the high fat content, they run a larger risk of spoiling and/or not reheating, so I stay away from creams (but “Cream of” soups do very well). Cheese and cheese sauces do *not* reheat well at all, and egg-based foods like quiche tend to be very rubbery (I tend to think anybody who says quiche freezes well is a fibber, or they’re used to improperly cooked eggs!). If rice and noodles freeze well is a source of heavy debate amongst us Freezer Pleaser ladies. Some say yes, some say no. I personally think rice doesn’t do well unless it’s part of a soup or broth-based casserole or sauce, and pasta works only if it’s fresh pasta… Not hard pasta in a box.

Here’s a list of Freezer Pleaser meals that are *always* in my freezer:

Chili
Split Pea Soup
Spaghetti (sauce only)
Shepherd’s Pie
Mashed Potatoes
Chicken and Dumplings
Waffles
Biscuits and/or breadsticks
Green Bean Casserole
Bread and Sausage Stuffing

This week, I used a new recipe, Chicken Pot Pie, using ready-made Pillsbury Pie Crusts (Stepford Wife or not, I can’t master pie crusts) with a basic white sauce base, chicken, corn, carrots, green beans, and potatoes. The recipe made two pies, one went into the fridge for dinner, the other was sliced up, wrapped in plastic wrap (to prevent surface freezer burn), then tinfoil (to protect from overall freezer burn), and put in Tupperware (think an easy easily grab-and-go for going to work). One of the slices I put into a divided Tupperware dish, along with mashed potatoes, a biscuit, and corn salad for a home-made “TV dinner!”

To get more ideas of what to serve, the proper care and feeding of Freezer Pleasers, and how to bring them to life again on your table, keep your eyes on me. You never know what I’ll pop out with.

Tuesday - Bathroom Cleaning Day Quick Tip

2007-08-14T06:42:00.000-04:00

It doesn’t take expensive chemicals to get your can all sparkling clean…

Put about half a can of soda (that’s right, regular old cola) in the toilet, mixed with a splash of bleach. Let it soak while you freshen yourself up, scrub with your toilet brush all the way up to the rim and flush!

Voila! A sparkling clean toilet you could let your dog drink out of! Ok, maybe not, but you still have a lovely clean toilet.

Welcome to my Space on the Internet

2007-08-12T19:37:00.001-04:00

So I suppose you're wondering... Who is this woman? Is she for real? Who the heck does she think she is?

Well, I'm horrible at managing my home, absolutely horrible. I never threw anything away, never could part with anything that went through my front door, and I could never clean what I had, and any and all cleaning was emotionally exhausting. I lost two of the rooms in my house to wall-to-wall mess, and I haven't even claimed them yet. All guests had to give a weeks notice before coming to visit, and housekeeping was an all-day rescue mission.

I decided to take action.

Slowly but surely, I reclaimed my house. It came so gradually, I hardly saw it coming. But my house... Was clean. Soon, everything in my life straightened up around it, and now my family and house and career are flourishing. The change was so dramatic that family and friends who've known me these many years wondered what the heck could have happened to turn me from a total mess, to a Clean Queen. Convinced that if I could do it, others could do it, I decided to take my method to the web, sharing what all I knew and all I do to keep my house running smoothly.

Thus started "The Stepford Wife's Guide to Home Management." Am I really a Stepford Wife? No, of course not. The title of this blog was made with tongue firmly planted in cheek. A poke at myself, and a poke at the people who think that clean houses and home management binders are the tools of the Stepford Wife... An opinion I used to hold until I realized that a home management binder was my lifeline to managing my OCD.

So now my house is clean, two rooms that were lost to clutter are starting to return to their former states of managed messiness, evolving slowly to a place of actual cleanliness, planned menus remove stress and mean good dinners on the table every night, there's a freezer full of freezer pleaser meals, and I am living in a home that is not so disastrous as to prevent me from actually relaxing.

I firmly believe if I can manage all of this, you can too... And step-by-step, I'll show you how I did it. :)

Until next time!